You Win

Pain has been in me for far too long
At first I didnt know why my life was so wrong
Then I realized that for many tortuous, long years
These people were the reason for my tears
It didnt matter if they were close to my heart
Or if we werent really that close, or even far apart
What mattered was that they shattered my soul
Causing me pain was their only goal
I trusted them with my life, thats when I realized
That this was a graver mistake than I visualized
I thought I count on them to make me happy
Now my world is getting smaller and my life is crappy
I have no will to live among these liars
This is not how I imagined my life; these are not my desires
I want to give up. I want to break down
I want them to see what they did to me, why I drowned
Drowning in my sorry, Drowning in my pain
Why would they do this? What did they have to gain?
Now Im falling asleep with my pillow full of tears
My dreams are all horrid, all full of fears
Please tell me, will I ever get peace?
Will I ever be happy, will my pain every cease?
The answers to this questions are nowhere in sight
I try so hard, yet this battle is so hard to fight
So I give up. There. You win
I hope I will be forgiven for this commitment of a sin
But I cant take it any longer; my life is my hell
I spent so long pretending everything was well
So these are my last words. This is my sorrow
Soon you will see the outcome. You will see tomorrow
All this pain and unhappiness was the last straw
Everything everybody pointed out, every flaw
Fueled that pain deep inside of me. This is my decision
This life wasnt what I had in mind. This wasnt my vision
I wanted a perfect life or even mediocre. I really didnt care.
But now my last words before I leave are full of despair
Farwell I say, good day to you, goodbye
This is the day I leave; this is the day I die.