Comments : I CONFESS I CAN'T LET YOU GO

  • 16 years ago

    by Prasad Baadkar

    I saw my dream breaking, and yet I held back my tears.
    To fulfill your dreams which you always whispered close to my ears.
    I was in pain and yet I pretended to be strong.
    As I always wished for you to be right and me to be wrong.

    I stayed quiet even when you said I am going away,
    My heart wanted you to stop.
    But my lips didn't have the strength to say.
    Holding back everything, I saw you go away.

    There is no-one who can take your place.

    The poet has said a lot in these lines & they are heart touching... it has a truth the other can understand or will never know...

    Itz sad Noha... But it was worth cuz this is a masterpiece..

    Keep writing... best wishz...

    Karan

  • 16 years ago

    by Ash

    I really enjoyed reading this poem. And most of all it's something that I can totally relate to. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Dawn aka Dominique

    K the poem is so real but the beat was totallly off other that every else is all good!

  • 16 years ago

    by Unamed

    Aww!!..this is really sweet. u had the capability of letting him go, even if u loved him and wanted for him to be by yourside the whole time. u did a great job! very emotional!
    Aly

  • 16 years ago

    by EssenceOfLace

    Very sweet love poem. Although the ending didn't quite go out with a bang, and have a major impact like I would've liked. It sounds unfinished. Maybe change the wording a little bit? The rest of the poem was good though.
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by SuicideNotes2Poems

    It was a nice poem.
    i can really relate to it right now. haveing a love that must end, but you dont want it to. the poem was great. i was suprised and impressed.
    i think you did a nice job. keep it up, and write some more. =] 5/5

    d[-_-]b

  • 16 years ago

    by waiting 4 some1

    I can see how strong your love is to that guy. he is really lucky to have you but it seems your are not with each other anymore i just hope its not too late.

    the poem drew very beautiful picture of love and true feelings too. i loved the poem too much and i hope you will be one with him one day...

    best wishes
    Adel

  • 16 years ago

    by noha

    Thanks all for helpfull comment
    and i agree that i cant find the end i confess,and its like not ending poem, like you wait what next and you dont know it,i hope to know

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    To be honest personally I don't like this poem too much, it is quite typical and cliche. You expressed emotions nicely but I think that you could use more creative descriptions and some more unique metaphors. Also with stronger wording message would be expressed on more powerful way.
    You used some words more than once which also left negative impression on me. Rhyming is also pretty predictable. All in all I personally don't like this poem too much.

  • 16 years ago

    by bRiNgMeToLiFe

    :[
    That was really sad,but really good.
    Keep it up.
    And i know what you mean about not being able to let someone go,I've ran into that same problem many times.

  • 16 years ago

    by jLegendc

    The poem is too simple and the sentences are too long... but i do hav a fav stanza "There is no-one who can take your place.
    For I have stitched my heart with your love's lace.
    Captured in it is the memoir of your face.
    For I would never find again this beauty and grace."
    i loved how u expressed ur feelings in this part... if you wrote all of the stanzas like this.. it would've been better... =]

  • 16 years ago

    by Dawn aka Dominique

    This poem is really cute it reminds me of how i feel with my boyfriend!

  • 16 years ago

    by shivali

    Oh mt God!!!!!!!!!!!
    it was tooo good,
    i realy liked it ,
    it was heart touching................

  • 16 years ago

    by Sherry Lynn

    Noah,

    This poem is heart wrenching... very well penned...

    Today I wonder if what I did was right.
    To be within myself and let my heart fight.
    To lose someone so special like you.
    And never to let out even a slight clue.

    ^^^
    Lose the word And in the final sentence; start with Never

    **************************

    I confess I was always crazy about you.
    I confess I couldn't stop falling in love with you.
    You filled my empty feeling within.
    For you were with me through thick and thin.

    ^^ Change one of the I confess to either I admitt or Unquestionably.. something like that

    *************************

    Every time I spoke to you.
    The more I fell in love with you.
    I had no choice but to let it go.
    For I could bear an empty heart, but not lose a smile that made the dark glow.

    ^^ For every time we spoke

    **********************
    I saw my dream breaking, and yet I held back my tears.
    To fulfill your dreams which you always whispered close to my ears.
    I was in pain and yet I pretended to be strong.
    As I always wished for you to be right and me to be wrong.

    ^^^
    Wrenching pain continued on; yet I pretended to be strong

    ***************************

    I stayed quiet even when you said I am going away,
    My heart wanted you to stop.
    But my lips didn't have the strength to say.
    Holding back everything, I saw you go away.

    ^^Unable to utter a sound when told you were going away

    *************************

    There is no-one who can take your place.
    For I have stitched my heart with your love's lace.
    Captured in it is the memoir of your face.
    For I would never find again this beauty and grace.

    Now it makes me wonder, if I had committed a blunder.
    Wonder if you ever felt the same.
    Wonder if your heart skipped a beat,
    Every time you mentioned my name.

    I should have expressed the way I felt.
    Whatever the consequence I would have dealt.
    I will love you forever.
    To let you go, A hope that may be next to never.

    I CONFESS I CAN'T LET YOU GO.

    ^^ Good...

    I hope to see you lose alot of the I's in the future. The emotions in this writing is powerful; however all the I's and you take away from it a little.

    I hope that this does not offend you. Overall I really like this poem and it is a great healing experience.

    ~~Sher

  • 16 years ago

    by shawn hoskins

    THAT WAS A GREAT POEM YOUR VERY TALENTED AND I CAN RELATE TO THIS POEM ABOUT WANTING TO TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM BUT COULDN'T GET THE WORDS OUT GOOD JOB

  • 16 years ago

    by Miu

    Sweet! Really shows that whole poem came from your heart, strong emotions. Many people can relate to this poem. Was ryhmed perfectly and flow was very smooth.
    But I found it too long, sorry this poem must meen to you a lot, but I really think you could have do more amazing job with smaller space. I got bored through it, but that again long ones aren't my cup off tea, so don't feel offended.
    Still great job on this! 4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by kate

    Wonderful. it was heartbreaking knowing the fact that you still are in love with the person but in a sence you had to let them go from the touching feeling but in your heart you couldn't there will never be a stopping way of you letting them go from your heart. You fell in love with them and that never goes away.

    keep it up.
    keep on writing
    love always and forever.

  • 16 years ago

    by Niinaa

    Favorite Stanza : I saw my dream breaking, and yet I held back my tears.
    To fulfill your dreams which you always whispered close to my ears.
    I was in pain and yet I pretended to be strong.
    As I always wished for you to be right and me to be wrong.

    it was a very amazing poem full of strong emotion Great Job 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by WrittenInTheStars

    Amazing poem. It rhymed perfectly and the flow was right on. It's one of the best I've read in quite a while. My favorite part is:

    I saw my dream breaking, and yet I held back my tears.
    To fulfill your dreams which you always whispered close to my ears.
    I was in pain and yet I pretended to be strong.
    As I always wished for you to be right and me to be wrong.

    Great job again, keep up the good work.

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    The passion flowed so smoothe I wished I was the object of your effection

    great poem