Why can't you stay?

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why can't you stay?

i swear this will be the last time,
i say to myself in a silent prayer,
but then i see your sleeping face,
and know that it will never be.
i don't know what possesses me,
to fall back into you arms,
but i do that without any shame,
and it does me even more harm.
i wake up in the middle of the night,
after a passionate night with you,
and i find you not there with me,
and i don't know what to do.
it hurts everytime that you call me,
when i never hear from you for awhile,
you laugh it off and say those words,
those words that make me fall for you,
"i love you..."
you whisper into the phone,
and you know you have me hooked again.
i break my plans for the rest of the night,
i turn off my cell phone one last time,
and i await for you to come to me.
you kiss me and act like nothing is wrong,
like that i just saw you the other day,
instead of it being months apart.
i smile a practiced smile just for you,
while on the inside i'm breaking.
i know you will leave me,
you always do when you are done,
but i pray that for once,
you will love me enough to stay.
so when the hour comes to be together,
we fall asleep in each others arms.
i smile a smile at you in the hopes,
you will stay with me for once,
but you never noticed me smile,
you are already asleep and gone.
i hold you tighter one last time,
because i know by when morning comes,
you will be gone from me once again,
and you know what? you are gone.