Destined for Solitude

Whenever I think I've made a friend,

they betray me, and torture my soul.

Whenever I know I've made friend,

they must pay a terrible price for being my friend.

One by one, people begin to abandon me.

Either because they dont care for me,

or simply because I wont conform to the same rules, fashion, or style that they do.

And the people who dont abandon me somehow end up suffering as a result.

If they stay with me, understand me, or try to help soothe my pain,

they end up being in pain themselves.

Sometimes, they even pay the ultimate price: death.

Which makes me wonder;

Am I destined to be alone?

Am I destined to not have any friends?

Am I destined to live in darkness forever?

If by any chance that God exists, then why is he trying so hard to make me kill myself?