Just For A While...

I can't seem to sleep
Most uncomfortable in bed
My thoughts are unheard
But better left unsaid

I'm in need of guidance
A guardian for my mind
To release my mouth from lies
That caress me in this bind

My heart, this soul, the pain
All a part of me but never the same
Corresponding with my actions
Dragging my reactions to the blame

Of my failure in the past ages
Though I know it was my surrounding
But there's a limit to a certain age
And for my recklessness to be astounding

It's a monumental statement
That has affected many in the making
To be felt for never the giving
And always minded for the taking

Deceiving most I try not to hurt
I'm honestly inside trying to smile
But getting mixed up others flaws
Making my leave all worth-while

I question my integrity
I question all about me
I question my ability
I wonder if I'll ever see

Dang G there's a door open
You need to make up you mind
Are you going to walk through?
It's the thought I can't rewind

It terrifies to me guess
If what I choose is right
Not right to be legal
But is it right for my life

Choose wisely my friend
You've only got one shot
You gonna throw yourself to the bottom
Or climb your tail to the top?

It's a guessing game of life
And Gs only got one try
How many times can she take it?
How many times will she cry?

I'm only based on the knowledge
What I've lived through to see
Ever occurrence by the measure
Is just another part of me

Still I dread the day
I'll see my friends go
All of my happiness
I feel I'll never know

I grew up a rugged child
But managed to sharpen a few points
I'm the one stiffening pain
As you feel the fire between my joints

I've had ache arguments
Deceased thoughts to myself
But putting me on display
Just another figure on the shelf

Do they really matter?
Are people really there to hear
Waiting for the day they walk away
I feel like I depending on my fear

People know me on the outside
I'm scared to let them in the real
I question the thoughts and what they say
It's gotta be what they really feel

I'm not living a lie
Maybe I am one
Maybe pride won't let me
I know no fun

Who am I to speak to you
What do you know and is it true?
I sit asleep and dream of the future
When is my end really due?

I just wanna look into her eyes
And know what I feel is real
The thoughts and the touches
Pleased to be helped release this seal...