I Hate You I Love You

If you're sorry
be sorry.
sit this game out,
and keep the right count
because i'm 2,3,4 down.
my heart's not a playground.

if you're hurt
i'm aching.
if you're angry
i'm raging.
if you heard painful lies,
i stood there and swallowed the ones you fed me
the ones that led me
to believe that you were real,
that this wasn't just a game for you to play
that my heart had touched down safe.

if you're sorry
for my sake,
for every ache
every crack
every messed up thought in my head
every hint of damage,
every drop bled,
for my sake
mean it.
and let me forgive you
and myself
for all the crap we went through
i hate you
i love you
i hate you.