Wow, I have to admit at times I had a hard time following, as in keeping everything straight, but the further I went the easier and more story like it seemed.

This seems to be a multi leveled poem, that and the words you choice, as well as the subjects you choice to go over as the poem progresses makes it some what complicated.

I like the subjects you picked, how you tied them together, and how you presented them. I understood more as I read, and the picture cleared out. The imagery you used was pretty great.

I started reading this before you put it into stanzas, and it was too much for me to handle without any visual origination. For me, the stanzas made everything easier to understand. You're last isolated line gives a bit of a dramatic effect. :D

In general I'd consider this a pretty great poem, although due to the feeling you're talking about five things at once in the beginning, it was a bit messy in my head at first. This may simply just be a flaw on my side though, and a more capable mind may understand it easier then me.

I'd give you a 4/5 due to the complexity, but I don't feel I should let some thing that could simply be on my side effect your overall rating on this poem, so I won't actually vote.

^_~ Good luck with your angel... you definently drew out some sympathy and emotion here.

Long but worth the read...great job...it was descriptive and I like that in poetry....keep writing!

Waw
its realy great poem
sad and beautiful
flow nice,powerful words
creative imagination
it makes me read and never want to stop
and when i reach the end i start it again
it gives me this feeling and i realy love the part you say:

Free from a cage so full of distrust
Know your sins on my sins we lust
You smile like a bird with envy
And cry as hard as a broken enemy

well done and it deserve a rate for contest
5/5

Beautiful write...Long but still I am glad i read it... good word choice..

"Stricken by muse to remember her face
With her gentle smile she saves our race
Sleeping beauty the fallen angel I love
The darkest raven to a beautiful dove"

^^ wonderfully written...

keep writing..

Thats good, good length as it worked for the poem, well done x

I love this poem because it's so imaginative. It's long but at the same time very captivating too. Wonderful!

Those who know lies begin to fall

That's a big generalization.
Not everyone who knows lies fall apart.
Most of us gets stronger from it.

A fallen angel loses her wings
Not all angels are females.
Not that I know, though :p
But, I'm guessing you don't either.
So maybe you should change that to
"Their" as in male and female
Or "it"

Black as night now falls [too] dim
You mean "to"?

Know your sins on my sins we lust
That doesn't make sense.

Limbless bird feel my wrath
Feel the flood of a bloodbath
Gluttony among the dead
Feeding on my life and all my pride
Greed take all from fallen angel for a stride

That kinda ruined your format.
They're all four lines in a stanza.
That particular one has five.

Fallen angel beautiful loses her white
You should change that to
A fallen, beautiful angel loses her white
But yeah.
You don't know that angels are white.
They maybe red for all we know..

All she knows is a perverted adjective
That doesn't make sense either.

I finally get this.
It's about someone getting raped.
It took me a couple of reads.

There were quite a few things not quite there.
Lots of fillers.
I don't know...

Lemme find more.
Someone stole her wings(,) she not even here
That needs either a comma, period, or semi-colon.

Forget, forgive(,) and never return to her hell
She(')ll finally find god and know what to do
There are three "l"s on she'll
Plus, that needs an apostrophe.

All in all.
Beautiful imagination.
You just need to perfect the punctuation.
It seems as though you rushed it.

Like you couldn't wait to get this
Out of your head, so you just wrote it down, as fast as you could.

It was pretty good :]

Beautiful a poem like a picture worth a thousand more words. this is going to be one of my favorites..keep writing like this please it was truly a wnderful write
- Raindrops 5/5

Oh this is beautiful!!!! I love it it's wonderful i'm really impressed, defiently beats alot of my poems hun^^

serenity xx

This was a very deep poem with a very strong emotion.......like it was so in tuned it's hard to grasp all at one time! I love how you used the methaphor of a bird and an angel it suited your writing style well

Great work! 5/5

Excellent job! Keep up the good work!

This poem was totally awsome amazing deep had really really strong emotions i loved the stanza you used how you chose your words.
5/5
Amazing Fantastic Job Hun!!!!

Wow, sry for the short comment but that was impressive. the ending was dark mysterious and interesting, like edgar allen poe. Pretty. I live in Ohio too btw. Akron.

So horribly relatable
this poem was beyond wonderful,
i really loved it

She never forgives herself for the blood he drew
--fav. part
1000/1000

This piece is pretty good. It is a bit abstract, but that's okay because I love abstract poems. They show more creativity and a difference course of thought and you have achieved that in this piece. Just a couple lines that I'm confused about,
"Heal her wounds until she cries"
I don't necessarily follow because the word heal brings up a happiness, but it seems like the line is meant to be sad, which I believe is a little too confusing. But it's your piece so I guess you understand the meaning better than me. I'm guessing though that this is about someone that screwed you over when you were ontop, hence the angel to devil line. I feel some other stories in here too but I'm not sure. I'd like to know though. But that's up to you. Very nice piece. 5/5

Wow! really good!! 5/5

Whoa. That was so wonderful and the words just seemed to flow off the paper. The way you worded each stanza made it feel like the message was being burned into your skin. Very nice. Darkness and sadness with a touch of romance. I really liked this one. 5/5

Wow, ur an amazing writer. i totally got lost in it. 5/5

~tia

Beautiful.
...
thats all I can say..

5/5

Amazing job, hun

Peace :]

"Fallen angel beautiful loses her white
All her screams to cause a fight"
-Fallen angel beautiful? what? Are you missing a word or something? =(

This poem is very good overall. It has some very great rhyming and I loooove your word choice. Very unique =) Great work! 5/5