Who's to Blame?

I decided you needed a good comment on this poem.
And, I guess, all I can say is that it was well done. The best poetry is what comes from the heart, and written as the author thinks is best.
You wrote this very well, and for only one poem by you ... I think you've got a talent that should be explored.
I like dark poetry like this, anyways.

Umm..i liked te meaning towards it, but i think u could spice it up a little. u dont have to use my ideas..but here are some suggestions...

"My blood, it's cold.
My body, is broken.
You left me cold on the floor.
So I took the razor.
And i cut it deep"
^^^say...
My Blood.It's so Cold.
My Body. It's Broken.
You left me cold on the floor.
Taking the razor,
I cut down deep.
----------i think that on the 1st 2 lines it would make it powerful if u added a period instead of commas like i did, that it would add emphasis.

"You found me later,
But death had come.
You held me close, whispering that you loved me.
Yearning for my bright smile,
But it never came."
^^u could say...
"I was found later.
But death had come.
With a Whisper of love,
You held me close.
You yearned for my smile,
But it never did come."

"You should have never left,
But now you cry.
You told me that you loved me,
But I thought you lied."
^^ you could say..
"Should've never left,
Now crying beside me,
you told me you loved me.
But as always, it was a lie."
hmm..not sure that last sentence of mine is any good...

"So, now with my body in the ground,
You start to cry,
Because you know,
My death was because of you."
^^ try...
"With my body in the ground,
You begin to cry,
Because you now know,
My death was because of you."

Hope this helps i think it would have been stronger....

u dont have to use this, just a suggestion...
Aly