This Reflection (For A Friend)

I just don't understand,
What exactly is wrong with me
When I look into the mirror,
What am I supposed to see?
Is it how I feel inside,
Or what you all see instead?
The reflection staring back,
Is someone who's sadly dead.
I can't explain myself,
There's no simple place to start.
Lost is all I am right now,
I don't even want to have a heart.
I can't count the days,
But I know it's been a while.
Why can't things just be fine,
No longer hiding behind a smile?