Comments : WHEN SOMEONE LEAVES FOREVER

  • 16 years ago

    by Jessica

    I have to agree with miss take.It kinda reminds me of mii grandma..and also mii brother just died soo.you know.I thought about him until it said bloved.Nicely done.keep up the good work!

  • 16 years ago

    by Jennifer RIP Lesthat Hayden

    Ooo it was good, but the end was a shock. Based on my beliefs god doesn't do stuff like that. But that's just me. It was a good poem though. And the ending was such a surprise! Way to go! :)

    Four out of five.

  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    This was very good. I really like the meaning behind it. It was sweet. Good job.

  • 16 years ago

    by Sora

    This is my new favorite poem!! very good detail, and the emotions were expressed so well! keep up the wonderful workk!!

  • 16 years ago

    by XxCutSoDeepxX

    Omg tats a really great poem i neva seen such a emotional poem like tat keep tat up and one day u could turn to someone great.. oh thanks for commenting on my poem... keep it up cause ur poems are wonderful and great to read hope to see more poems from ya and now i have become a fan on ur poems
    Thanks Tami oxo

  • 16 years ago

    by Shellaine shelli

    Oh my gosh that was really touching
    and so beautifully written.
    The flow was great,
    You have a stunning style
    keep up the good work
    and take care!!!

  • 16 years ago

    by XDeesxToxicxCookiesX

    I rele love it!!
    its pretty awesome..! =D
    keep it up >.<

    <3

  • 16 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Hi there,

    You asked me to look at your poems and so I will. There is not much to correct, only a few irregularities in the past and present tense being mixed. I will change that now and then you can compare it to your original poem alright?

    Take care, Ingrid

    Saw him standing beside the grave
    Beneath the earth his loved one lay
    Emotions erupted in running tears
    Grief and sorrow was his pray.

    He came to meet his dear beloved
    Was used to meeting her every day
    He knew she loved the scent of tulips
    Brought and placed it on her grave.

    He would stay there and talk for long
    He knew she listened to whatever he said
    Would open his heart and kiss her name
    Written with R.I.P on her grave.

    People would call him crazy and mad
    But in his heart he was grieved and sad
    For hours he would stay there and talk for long
    �Dear I miss you!� He would say.

    ^^^^I don't know what you meant to say here!

    Years passed, but still the same
    As usual he brought a tulip one day
    Tears trickled, placed his head on the grave
    Prayed to God, for meeting her again.

    God was watching him from the heavens
    His wish was granted, and was blessed that day
    God ordered the angels to take out his soul
    And thus he met his beloved this way.

  • 16 years ago

    by Rachelle

    A vary sad poem Iliked it 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Ash

    A well written poem. There are a few errors that I think should be corrected but other than that I believe that this is a very expressive write filled with so much of emotions, and though it displays so much pain, it also declares that true love lives on forever.

    "Was used to meet her every day" - I think that is should rather be : was used to meeting her every day.

    "Prayed to God, for meeting her again." - I think that it should rather say: ... to meet her again.

    None the less I enjoyed this poem alot. The flow added to the depth of sorrow. 5/5 from me.

  • 16 years ago

    by Goodbye

    I was thinking the title a lot...."when someone leaves forever".. Is that so...? Do people leave forever...and where do they leave?

    The poem...created an image about a man...standing in graveyard... Somehow I imaged...it is spring... maybe it came about the tulips... Spring flowers..

    A man talking to his dead love...prayed their souls to meet again...

    And then...God takes his soul in heaven...

    Yes...feelings don't die...even our body will die.. And love...just a great power...

    I see this poem very beautiful... I think...when I will die one day... I would like...someone would feel this way to me...

    This beautiful sad poem...made me really think...

  • 16 years ago

    by Goth marionette

    Expressive!!..That was really sad and deep..U got a great talent plz keep it up:)...good job5/5
    Take care and thx fr the comment...

  • 16 years ago

    by ghassan khzouz

    OMG its so Expressive... i really loved this poem..
    i'm sry for your lost if you lost someone..
    but really its more than 5/5..
    gr8 job..

  • 16 years ago

    by Crystal Rose Blooming

    This was amazing, how sweet a love like that would be You captured the meaning of love and the feeling of forever. Excellent poem, my eyes are wet with tears, you pulled on the heart strings with this one.
    The structure and flow I found excellent

  • 16 years ago

    by Jim McMillen the man within

    Muhamad you have taken a sad poem and turned it into a work of beauty I am very impressed well worth 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Loveless

    Wow. There's so much passion in it.. It was really sad but I loved it. It was so good. And your words really swayed.

  • 16 years ago

    by Vampiress

    I can honestly say that so far, this is one of my favorite poems. It has a lot of emotion, and i can feel it...

    good job :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Amaranthine

    Wow 5/5 =]
    first I must say thankyou for liking my poem and the comment for it.

    Wow this was very deep and the way it flows is amazing. I can relate to this thanku for telling me to read it . It really means a lot to read something with a meaning for me even I though I did not te this. beautiful work and the very nice ending.

  • 16 years ago

    by dimitRAHH

    Omg! soo sad!
    its so sniffy...
    but i loved it!! :)

    xo

  • 16 years ago

    by tinig

    Nice work!
    worth readin, as if it's really from the heart?!
    make more