I hate [myself]

It hurts to look in the mirror,
because whats starring back
is the reason my brothers not here

i hate fathers day
for it reminds me
i wasnt even good enough for my own father to stay

i hate the sight of the blade,
for i want to take it
let it come in
take my guilt
and with relief
just let it win

i hate who i am
i hate that i hurt others
i hate that im alive
and yes most of all i hate
that all im saying is right