Cute story temps. I am not a very goot critique for love poems so I cant rly say much about it. You seem consistant and the flow is alright so Id say its a good poem temps XD.

Good work XD

I like this poem, it's really romantic. I think that you cut this off very prematurely and that (well at least I think) it should have lasted longer. Other than that it was awesome. Great job.

Aw. I loved this. It was very sweet. To be honest, I really expected it to be a piece about the opposite. Threw me for a loop, but a good one. :]

"He walks in the door and his gorgeous eyes open wide.
The room is lit with candles that dance with color,
and rose petals romantically spread on the couch.
He whispers passionately in her ear "I love you, baby." "

^^ I really loved this stanza. It kinda sets the tone for the kind of relationship the couple has.

I really liked your word choice; it was outstanding. It's beautifully written.

5/5

-Briana

Awww! such a cute poem temps:) great job.5/5
**harlea

A well written poem. I like the way that it's not just words floating through but actually is a story being told. It's not just emotions but actual happenings and events that can be related to.
Excellent work! 5/5 from me.

I can accually see the poem come to life as if it happend to me. wonderful work<3

I loved the last line and this would be a dream come true for me. Nice write.

Your flow is flawles and this poem is very romantic

I love the hook

Love it Temps! This was different from what I usually read from you and I truly did enjoy it. I see nothing wrong and eeverything just flowed flawlessly. GFreat choice of words and I was just captivated from beginning to end.

"The room is lit with candles that dance with color,
and rose petals romantically spread on the couch."
^Beautful. I just loved the imagery this painted in my mind.

Well done. *5/5*

I like it

Sorry I'm commenting this so late T__T Been really jet-lagged after camp. So:

I love how you started this. It was a lot different from your usual pieces, and it seems, my dear, that you are improving quite well :) I think it somewhat bothered me that the first line of the first actual stanza had "tick" in it though ... But there's nothing really that can be done by that.

Instantaneously she fills up with excitement.
She leaps up from the couch-
`I feel like it would sound better without both "up"s.

as a smile rushes over her beautiful face.
`I think it would sound better as "across" instead of "over." I don't know how it would sound to you though.

He gives them to her and gives her a sweet
peck on her rosy red cheek.
`The repeated "gives" in one line allows the piece to falter slightly. Maybe "He gives them to her, along with a sweet,
peck on her rosy velvet cheek." [The red also bothered me ... so maybe another word in place of that?]

Your second to last stanza has sweetly drawn imagery. It's so clear, and though it's a cliche picture, the way you created the piece just made it romantic instead of overused.

I really liked the way you ended it. It was like something you'd see in a movie--AND in real life, which made it more realistic to me.

Well done, love.
..__MiNDYY

I thought this was a cute little piece. I have had some good times with rose petals and some very vivid memories as well. Great job, 5/5

Awww this is just so cute... i was smiling through the whole thing lol...