THEIR BEGINING

In the begining:
He saw you,
What a sight you were.
The hair red and never ending.

^^^ It seemed way to a simple way to start off a poem. A lot of people start poems in simple ways or words, but starting it off simple also can have the thing of holding good wording. It was a more then simple, for me it was just like reading. He saw her red hair and the sight of her was never ending.

His thoughts begin to trouble him
for he never felt his heart fall oh so hard
And so love begins its mission,
through his entire body he feels it

^^^^ Simple first line, but it was bit understanding for it. Second line the "oh so hard" the "oh" does not fit in that line. I would suggest taking it out. Third line take the "so" out does not belong with the wording you used. The last line was a good way to end it.

The beauty he sees,
he can't seem to believe.
Emotions run through his head,
all he wants to do is ask for her name.

^^^ The first two lines are lines with rhyming words. You should maybe add more of rhyming words to poem. Most poems with unrhyming words tend to be more on the deep side.

He does,
and what a beautiful name it was.
He will look forward to the next day,
for her sight is the heart of his day.

^^ I do not understand the very first line of "he does" and then it just gets into talking about her beauty.That line just doesn't seem to fit. The two days just don't fit. Maybe find a different word to replace the second day.

As she walks away,
he turns looses his secret love in the distance.
He returns home,
wondering what she thought as they crossed eyes.

^^^ second line seems to be a bit of every where. It just doesn't make much of sense if you really really read it. Re-writing or wording it may help. The last two lines are good.

She returns home,
and begins to write:
"In the begining:
I saw him...."

^^^ again this seems a bit too simple. Just another " I saw him today." thing. But it was a good poem, little mistakes here and there but was good.

I hope you can take the criticism and not take it the wrong way. Just had to tell you how I honestly felt about some parts.