Love and Happiness

HUGE improvement on what was already wonderful. Still watch out for rhyming unless it was intentional (away/astray) but other than that, its much better. Great job!

Great message but i found the wording was somewhat messy. The different lenghts of the lines and different stress paterns kind of ruined the flow. Also watch out for un-intentional rhyming.
"And the people who care
It is not about the clothes you wear.."
That kind of threw me off a bit. Since wear rhymes with care, it gives the impression that its where the line should end but it doesnt and again, just throws off the flow a bit. I mentioned this to a couple people but try experimenting with a more poetic vocabulary. You like to elaborate on stuff which is great but i think that the pros style you write in limits your ability to do so effectively.

It is not about the clothes you wear and how much stuff you have on your face

I found it kind of awquard to read. Personaly i find the words 'clothes', 'much', 'stuff' and 'face' arent terribly poetic. Experiment with more abstract writting as well. You seem to elaborate on pretty straightforward concepts. What sounds pretty neat is whe you turn a straightforward concept into one more abstract and then beautify it with poetic language. This wont be a piece of art but it should be a mediocre example of what im trying to say. Instead of

It is not about the clothes you wear and how much stuff you have on your face

Try twisting it around like:

Shirts, skirts and lipstick
Cover the source of beauty
Cover the source of love and mirth
And arouse lust and jelousy

I like the poem a lot and overall there isnt much that blatantly stands out as 'bad form' or anything like that. Im being a jerk and splitting hairs lol. You have the making of a great poet. Dont be afraid to go beyond your comfort zone. Experiment with new vocabulary and concepts. Read your poems outloud a couple times and you'll often catch any major issues with flow. Oh and for your vocabulary, dont be afraid to use stuff like a thesaurus. www.rhymezone.com is GREAT for commng up with rhymes and synonyms and such. I use it a lot with my writting. I think this is my longest comment on a poem that i've ever done! Hope it helps. Great job!