It's a curse

I believe it's some kind of curse
I've been born with it
It's taking over my life
But I just don't admit it

The fantasy of being somebody else
Shattered my identity
I'm now a dismantled mess
With fake personality

Am unable to think straight
I tried so hard but I failed
My forbidden thoughts my sins
Inside my brain are jailed

Am not saying it's your fault
But you are the reason am confused
My heart became a piece of rusty metal
Its ****ed up from being used

You wanted me to be someone I wasn't
And I tried to be everyone but who I was
I ended up realizing that I haven't
Been showing what I know I have

So here I stand, unknown and lost
Looking for a glimpse of the way I should be
Digging so deep avoiding the worst
That now I'm nothing, and maybe that's me