This is written so well...I haven't read a good love poem like this in a bit and this was so unique, and just amazing in its own way!

"He too, had never experienced love.
Handsome he was not, but cute in his own way.
He did not have much at all, but just enough.
All he needed now was a chance with a princess."

^I love this stanza, there was so much passion and emotions going on in this poem, it was quite outstanding. You two did a fabulous job on this. I really can't say much more, everything's all ready been said. Good job, you two, this was one of the best collab's I have ever read. Keep writing, always and forever.......

Touching tale but this reads so like prose rather then poetry. Poetry must (in my opinion) have rhythm/metre to exist. It must have at its core a heartbeat that captures the reader as well as the words do. Perhaps this is the "new style" but, me , I'm a bit too "old school". As always an opinion.

Such a nice story! i really imagined what's happening... when i finished reading the 3rd stanza, i hurriedly read the fourth and i was really thrilled towards the end... i loved how you wrote it! i wish capturing a girl's heart ws that easy! damn... great poem tho! =]

Alrighty, I haven't commented any of your work yet. Lol. So I comment stanza by stanza as I read. Just a heads up :D

I like the title. There are so many stories and things when it comes to this. I am excited to read :] So let's get started...

First Stanza: For an opening stanza, I think it was a little weak. Just a little weak though. But then again, it makes you want to know who the other person is. And I want to know more also because it is a collab. Lol. I contradict myself a lot just to let you know :] But I really liked the rhyme between line 2 and 4. It was not obvious, but it flowed very well. Another thing I liked was that you showed that just because someone is beautiful and has money does not make them happy. It reminds me of a song or saying "love makes the world go round." lol. Anyways, it overall was a good start for the story line. Oh oh and I liked the word princess. Kind of be-dazzled the stanza :]

Second Stanza: This one made me smile. I really liked the second line. It stuck out to me. The whole cute in his own way thing. I love it. Oh boy. The third line too. I love them both. The storyline is continuing AMAZINGLY. Although there is no true rhyme scheme, the flow is smooth and your punctuation really makes sense. And you end the stanza perfectly with that last line. I almost though the word princess would of been out of place, but no. It fits perfectly. Great job :]

Third Stanza: I love the mystery you create. What I mean is, your lines are short. So the reader has to wait till the next line to find out what happens. Lol. I know it sounds silly. But it makes sense. And I love it. The storyline keeps coming powerfully. The only thing I would change is, in line 4 the word had after suddenly doesn't seem right. It kind of puts a bump in the flow, for me. Other than that, another great stanza.

* I don't think I have ever commented a collab. It's kinda hard because I get confused and yeah. I don't know. Lol. *

Fourth Stanza: Aww :] This one made me smile too. Agh. Lol. It's so sweet because it just is. Lol. I'm sorry. Anyways, the flow just glides right on. I like the way you two work together. Some collabs are hard to follow because the writers have different style or whatever. But you two work amazingly well. I like the way you express the emotions. It's not just simple words but you give enough details in short lines that makes it easy to understand. Oh another thing, I like the first two lines of this stanza. They just worked really well. Great job :]

Fifth Stanza: Aww. It's like a classical fairytale. So sweet and the whole bell scenario is just beautiful.. Reminds me of one of those old movies :] I love it. The flow was a little off in this one, but not so much that I was all over the place. My favorite line out of this one had to be line two. I think that a lot of people if not everyone can relate to these emotions. It's great guys. It really is :]

Sixth Stanza: Oh boy. It's getting better and better. Lol. I like how you could kind of feel the panic. The anxiety when your running out of time after getting so far is obvious here. Maybe not that extreme but still. I also like how you said they both began to speak at the same time. It reminds me of one of those awkward conversations. Lol. I like it :] Overall, another great stanza.

Seventh Stanza: I love it. I don't think this poem could of ended better. Lol. It truly was amazing. I love the last, well I love the whole stanza.

Overall, a great poem you two. [I'm going to post it on both of yours] But like I said earlier, you two work very well together. Your story line could not of been better. Besides the small things, the poem was amazing. Great job :]

5.5
Amber :]

I really enjoyed this. I think everyone in there own way wants something so easy yet so incredible to happen to them in this way. I thought the last few lines were brilliant. I really liked the "lets fall in love" line. It really captured me. Because most people are so scared to even mention "the dreaded word" but everyone wants to say it. I think you both took a very great risk with this piece.
Some things I'd correct:
I think this poem needs a few more colorful words, that really catches the readers attention. Not too many, because you don't want to sound confusing but just a couple. I would like to know what the boy had to say at the end, so maybe do another collab with a sequal ( then let me know)
5/5
nice poem guys!
kaila

Ahh the joy of young love. I really like how the two of you put this piece together. Like the thoughts of each person going back and forth. I'm impressed by the level of emotion conveyed in this poem. It makes me recall when I was in that position of "loverflies" as I called them [love butterflies] and wondering if I or the other person would make the first move. Great job with this poem.

Oh wooww!... This is veryyy sweet and nicely done! 8)

5/5
Keep It Up!

This was cute, and I can tell it was a collab, because I felt that some stanzas were better than others, but they were still wonderful. It was adorable in it's own way, and it was quite a "fairytale"; And I only say that because something like that would never happen in my high school. People stay in their own social groups, if you know what I mean. =/

~Kail

Wow that was good. I liked it. :) I felt the ending was unrealistic, but that's only because love like that is hard to find.

It was a nice little fairy tale. I always dreamed of something like that. Just eye contact with a stranger and instant chemistry leading to a relationship. It was always my little fairytale. :)

Five out of five.

Aw. This poem was absolutely wonderful. You guys did a great job on this.

"On one side of the room sat a popular girl,
a beautiful princess is what she was called.
Dressed in designer clothes and spoiled all her life,
never understanding why she was never loved. "

"He too, had never experienced love.
Handsome he was not, but cute in his own way.
He did not have much at all, but just enough.
All he needed now was a chance with a princess."

^^ I loved these two stanza's, because I feel like they pretty much set the scene for the poem. It's how life really is - the popular kids sit here, the unpopular kids sit there.

"From across the room he saw her,
smiling so radiantly back at him.
The everlasting chemistry between the two became visible,
which suddenly had left him with butterflies. "

^^ Wow! Wonderful word choice here. "Radiantly", "everlasting chemistry" -- beautiful.

"That boy knew he had to take this shot.
It took everything within to make it to where she sat.
He simply said hello and she sweetly replied.
And with her greeting, he knew something was about to be."

^^ This part really made me smile. Because the shy, quiet boy finally had the confidence to approach the popular girl. So many people aren't like this, IRL. It's sad.

"He was timid but managed to have a conversation,
hoping that what he said would capture her heart.
The bell then rang loudly and startled them both,
which made them realize they had to depart for the day."

^^ Aw. This genuinely upset me, because I want the relationship to work out so much [even though I know it's just a poem, lol], but they have tom leave each other for the day. :[

"They couldn't just walk away now,
for communication was finally established.
They both started to speak at the exact same time.
Numbers were exchanged and love had found its way."

^^ YAY! for love. I love when things work out this way. It makes me happy, to see others happy. Especially when the two people are complete opposites.

"The boy rushed home and picked up the phone,
only to find the popular girl he met in class on the line.
His heart dropped as she spoke those words from her lips,
"I want to take a risk with you. Let's fall in love,
And hope that it never fades, because I love you.""

^^ Aw. I love this ending. It's perfect. It's a sweet love story, and I enjoy reading love stories, because they make me happyyyy. :]

Overall; Clearly, I loved it. Everything about it was perfect. I thought the word choice was excellent, and the emotion was great, too.

Five out of five.

``Briana

Handsome he was not, but cute in his own way.
`OHHHH THAT'S SO CUTE! I love the way that was worded. It's not the first time I've ever heard it, but actually reading it in poetry and where it fit in is just great.

Though, I don't really like the use of "princess" in both the first stanza and the second. It just bothered me since the stanzas are right after each other.

For some reason, the third stanza made me imagine chemistry becoming visible, and then the chemistry between them both transforming into butterflies in the air. Even though that's not exactly what it says--it's a pretty image :)

Though it read more like a prose than poetry, it was still so sweet. And your ending was absolutely ideal for this piece. I think it bothered me that love was used in two lines directly after each other, but I can't really think of anything to change those so, good job.

..__MiNDYY