To Spend Eternity With You

First of all, sorry for the lateish comment but here it is:

"To spend eternity with you" Was one of my favorite titles in the contest I gave, So I was glad to see people choosing this title to write a poem about.

"Midnight looms across the land,
Deathly petals lay in my hand.
I took them from inside the basket,
That lay so gently upon your casket."

You had a good rhyme scheme here, ABAB, which seems to go through the whole poem. So that gives a greater flow of emotion from the poem.

"Midnight looms across the land,
Deathly petals lay in my hand."

^^ I loved how you worded this, "Deathly petals" was very imaginative.

"A tender tear runs down my cheek,
My sobs so broken, my limbs so weak.
I stamp my lips upon the wooden frame
That holds your photo; my undying flame."

This gave romance into the poem, which I liked very much. You had a syllable count as well, 10. Good job with that. I always have trouble with that. I always end up being a syllable under or a syllable over.

"My pale hands lift it, I'm shaking, I know,
Yet I'm brave enough to see that it's my time to go.
So I smile as I get ready, ready to depart,
With a faint cry I grip on tight, and stick it in my heart. "

Typical how to kill a vampire ending: Which was very good. You stuck to the stero-typical vampire feel, which most of us are comfortable with reading, which makes this poem an easy to read and an easy flow.

This is beautiful, it made me want to cry.

This is beautiful, it made me want to cry.

The imagery was top notch for me. I really like how you deeply express the emotion throughout this poem, and how well you escalate those feelings right until the very end. In my opinion it has a mixture of tones, however the biggest one that stands out is the sorrow that is embraced by this persons predicament. Very well thought out and written indeed. Excellent work.

"Midnight looms across the land,
Deathly petals lay in my hand.
I took them from inside the basket,
That lay so gently upon your casket."
`This stanza contains a lot of imagery and it set a very dark setting and mood for the poem. It already is making me sad.

"A tender tear runs down my cheek,
My sobs so broken, my limbs so weak.
I stamp my lips upon the wooden frame
That holds your photo; my undying flame."
`Wow. This is getting more sad. I love how you are describing everything oh so well. The flow and rhyme are consistant and smooth. Great work, darling. :]

"The image still so clear, planted in my mind;
A stake through your heart, an act so unkind.
We'll be together as I promised, I do not disappoint.
The weapon lies so polished, with its dangerous point."
`Loved the first line, how you said that the picture of them was still planted in your mind. Wonderful word to use. They are permanently stuck in your mind forever and ever.

"My pale hands lift it, I'm shaking, I know,
Yet I'm brave enough to see that it's my time to go.
So I smile as I get ready, ready to depart,
With a faint cry I grip on tight, and stick it in my heart."
`Wowww. How deep was this. This was a very sad stanza. :[ What a way to end a poem.

Overall, a extremely sad write. Very deep. But well described. Great flow, very smooth. Word-choice was simple but yet filled the poem up with imagery. Excellent job, hun! 5/5.