The Firey Pitts (Hell part 1)

by InvisiblyHeartless   Aug 5, 2008


An inferno of flame enraged pits and valleys
Red hot infrared at any visable point
The hell she now lived in mercilessly with pain
Hadn't been her particular choice to land
Lakes of burning rocks and molten lava
Streaming rivers of eternal suffering
The place she had to cleanse her body
Dancing flames jumping at her on every corner
Since the feelings for him emerged in her
Life had set her into this prison keeping her
Confining her to this destination, the firey Hell.

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  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Title: Good job. It's interesting. It's intriguing and captures my attention. Like you said.. one of these is fire [this one] & the other is ice. Very nice idea!

    Okay, I begin reading and I want a rhyme for some reason. I think that it would work better with the poem and help with the flow a lot. But your words are so amazing and full of imagery.

    Overall, amazing write. It contained wonderful words that had great imagery as well. No flaws in this one.
    Advice: Maybe put a rhyme to this poem? It would help with the flow.

    5/5

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