"riding rain drops"...hell yeah that is one of the coolest lines i've ever read..awesome!..nice flow througout, very heartfelt and believable, which for me at least is important, i found it to be a very enjoyable read and hope to read more from you...go go go!
john

As usual your flow is flawless and this poem takes the readers to a very special place in your imagery and imagination

5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wow this was quite beautiful. a very touching and heartfelt poem. i really like your writing style it's very unique.

Let's get out of this town and go somewhere
Somewhere where I can spend the days
Making wishes for us and riding rain drops
Hoping we will always stay so passionate
And talking just by staring into each others eyes

that stanza was my favorite. a fantastic opener. and the third line was extremley creative. i can really relate to this poem, i have similar feelings. you did a wonderful job on this. 5/5.

-Ashlei.

"Let's get out of this town and go somewhere
Somewhere where I can spend the days
Making wishes for us and riding rain drops
Hoping we will always stay so passionate
And talking just by staring into each others eyes"

-- In the second line, the "where" after "somewhere" isn't needed. I loved the last line. I think that is so beautiful, when two people can read each other just by looking into their eyes.

"They say eyes are like windows to the soul
Well your soul puts paradice to shame
They make me want to leap right into them
Your warm breath on my neck pounds into my veins
As crooked as your smile is, it's a neccesity for me"

-- In the second line, you should have a comma after "well" & "paradice" should be "paradise".

"I could spend the rest of my days with you
Love, Passion, and the feeling I get with you
I have no doubt in your quirky ideas for us
My tainted heart that was broken in the past
Has turned pure and has captured you in it"

-- In the second line, "passion" shouldn't be capitalized. Everything else in this stanza is absolutely beautiful.

"Wherever we are in this mixed up world
My smile will shine as long as I have you
If it begins to rain on us on a sunny day
We'll just sit and wait for our rainbow to arrive
Because it's worth the trouble as long as I have you"

-- Oh! The third & fourth lines are my favourite throughout the whole poem. Those are stunning!

"You bring focus on my blurry life
Make believe when my life was without imagination
Dreams to a restless slumber
Beauty to an ordinary day
Purpose to when my life was useless!"

-- A wonderful ending. However, I would advise you not to keep the exclamation mark at the end of the last line, since it's the only punctuation you have put in the piece.

You've written a fabulous poem. Great job, Shelby. Just.. great.

Five out of five.

``Briana

"Well, your soul puts paradice, to shame"
`Paradise

"Your warm breath on my neck pounds into my veins"
`Absolutely loved the wording. Pounds into my veins - wow.

Last stanza - try making the lines longer, they were kind of short compared to the other stanzas. Although the ending was pretty good.

Overall, a very sweet poem. Very beautiful. It's a beautiful fairytale that you hope comes true. :] 5/5

Wow, this is excellent.