Worth So Much More

by Candice Manibog   Aug 10, 2008


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So stressful.
This life is so hard.
Things don't get easier.
I can't stand to dwell on things that never change.

Him walking away...
Doesn't feel that great.
But hating him doesn't feel much better.
I don't know how to handle it.
Its too hard to accept being abandoned.

A senior in high school..
And the only family I have is myself.
Family is just a word...
Because I have none.

Walk away from pain,
I understand that.
Walk away from family,
I'll never get it.
Your own child,
And I mean nothing to you.

Don't come visit,
Not even a phone call,
How can I call you my father at all?

I always thought I was worth so much more,
Until I watched you walk out that door,
Only to find, you wouldn't be coming back.

You should understand,
Your father did the same.
You must have learned by example.

The pain you just installed in me,
Is something I'll never forget.
I can cry all I want,
But you will never hear it.
Screaming inside, I need to let it all out,
with this pen to this paper,
I'll show you what I'm about.

I'm over the fact that you can't be there for me,
You not calling is too much,
I can't ask any more of you.
I feel betrayed.
Lost.
Broken.

Is this all you wanted?
Because you have done all this to me.
This pain may fade, but my memory will stay.
An absent father to a 17 year old girl.
A lasting, painful memory,
How does it make you feel?

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