My self pity?

Perhaps it is my nemesis for loving in excess,
Possibly it is my retribution because my feelings I did not repress?
An amoeba stained green has abducted my light,
The white light in my fading, fatigued world.
I abhor his alter ego, visible to only me,
For only I perceive his will, they are oblivious too see.
My bosom bleached blood red, for all to observe,
Because he thinks her love I do not deserve.
My vision of a picturesque life, melted away.
The day, into my life, he did stray.
Reminiscent of bluebeardÂ’s malice.
He has burnt to the ground my once beautiful palace.
Perhaps he thinks I am the amoeba stained green,
Because I can not acclimatize to the wretched place.
Perhaps he thinks I am a neurotic,
Who contrives looks of hurt upon its face?
Because of this yellow bellied devil, on a bier I am lowered,
To spend an eternity of pain wallowing in self pity.

This poem is about my Mum and her boyfriend. I know it sounds like im just jealous, but it goes deeper than that.