His #1 no matter what

I feel so depresses.
I mean i don't be doing doin anything,
all i do is sit around.
Prolly cuz u not here anymore.
On second thought maybe that's the reason.

i feel like i made a mistake.
i mean I keep telling myself that i'm in love
but i know i don't love him.
i mean i want him but i love him.
uh ok foget it.
I just can't go pass the past.
I mean if only u were there.
god lord knows the feeling i had for you.
i mean the thing we use to do
and how it always felt right.
but Its just not the same.
What am i going to do?
It's crazy my heart is drooling for this dude
but my mind telling me to far away from him..
But yet i want him.
i keep findin reason why i should still be with him,
even though she's there.
I mean she's there that's true
but he gave me my first real tongue kiss,
my first hickey, and the only to make me cry
just by looking into his eyes.
It's crazy. how can i let that go?
you know I promise him my innocence,
told him he would be my first.
i mean there's no doubt
that i wanna make love to him
but i dont know where i stand.
i'm not ready to share a man.
For i all i know he owns my heart but ....
ok maybe i should let him go be with her
and she don't ever know i existed.
She must know i existed.
she must of seen the scrathes
and the hickey on him and
how he is always tired and
worn out by the time she sees him.
those were the days.
ok that's not the point.
is that my only option?

NO no, im not gonna let him go that easily.
for all i know im his number 1 wifey.
And until he tells me otherwise ,
im his one and onli.
Im sorry but if she wants any part of him
she best settle for number 2.