Escaping Reality

Last night I watched someone die
I watched him lay there in agony
silently, taking what he deserved

he looked at me
his eyes pleading with mine
searching my face for some type of answer
but I couldn't give him one
(at least not the one he wanted)

his eyes were filled with pain
and mine were empty
staring past him, out the open window

I glanced at him,
he looked at me, still searching for an answer
but my face held none

he reached out to me and gasped
with his last choking breath
he uttered an apology
but it was too late

last night I watched someone die
there was nothing i could do about it
yet i had everything to do with it

later that night i cried
then the realization finally set in
it was better to have loved and lost
then to not have loved at all