Comments : The Delicate Rose

  • 10 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Subtle heartbeats, blushing cheeks,
    Pounding rhythms, nothing speaks,
    Just the softness of the flower,
    Mortal life, undying power."

    Such a beautiful stanza here, your rhyming is wonderful and this truly took my breath away.

    "Graceful beauty, thorns of wrath,
    Everything upon love's path,
    Found inside a single bloom,
    The sweetest smell of life's perfume."

    Lovely imagery depicted here and in this whole poem. A great way to end this excellent write. Keep writing, always and forever...

  • 10 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Oh what powers does it hold, (I would take out the Oh)
    In it's petals soft and bold, (I'd remove the it's)
    The rose, it's beauty, unconfined, (I'd remove it's)
    Branching out to bloom in mind. (I'd remove to)

    Subtle heartbeats, blushing cheeks,
    Pounding rhythms, nothing speaks,
    Just the softness of the flower,
    Mortal life, undying power.
    (now this stanza is awesome. you have a lot of meaningful words as opposed to fillers)

    Love and friendship, grief and pain, (try not to use and so much)
    Everything in our domain,
    Summed up with a single seed,
    That blooms to fill our silent need.

    Graceful beauty, thorns of wrath,
    Everything upon love's path,
    Found inside a single bloom,
    The sweetest smell of life's perfume. (Sweetest smell, life's perfume, sounds better as you would remove the unnecessary filler words.)

    Other than the few minor things I have mentioned, the poem is beautifully penned. It flows well and is without forced rhyming. Nice job!

  • 10 years ago

    by Searching for Guidance

    Very beautiful, wonderfully written with great flow. you have a great talent, thanks for sharing!

  • 10 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Congrats on the win, very well deserved! I think anyone who reads this poem will find how beautiful and amazing it truly is. Take care...

  • 10 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Roses have always been my favorite and even more so after reading this poem. I can feel the satin petals of the rose and the smell is real even though there is not a rose near me.

  • 10 years ago

    by Nicola

    Wow love it !

  • 10 years ago

    by Gentle Storm

    Superb poem!

  • 10 years ago

    by Jemma

    I loved this! - and I usually don't go for things about flowers - but the way you described it. You made the rose into more than a rose. It was much more than itself.

    I especially liked the lines:
    'Subtle heartbeats, blushing cheeks,
    Pounding rhythms, nothing speaks,'

    I thought those were simply beautiful,and 'life's perfume' at the end, a perfect ending. Excellent flow, a natural feel to the rhyme and a wonderful grasp on language...

    Can you tell I liked it?

    Jemma

  • 10 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    Well-phrased, lovely, and oh, so accurate....

  • 10 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Beautiful...lovely descriptive verses with an awesome rhythm! So perfectly captures the rose in all it's beauty and fragrance!

    Congrats on the win!

  • 10 years ago

    by PHOEBIX

    *Standing ovation*

    This is outstanding. I tend to use free verse because when I rhyme it seems...contrived or awkward so much of the time. This is elegantly done!

  • 10 years ago

    by Cindy

    What a beautiful poem. So mnay emotions wrapped in your words.

    Graceful beauty, thorns of wrath,
    Everything upon love's path,
    Found inside a single bloom,
    The sweetest smell of life's perfume.

    This was my favorite stanza it just makes a great ending.
    Congrats on the win.
    Take Care
    Cindy

  • 10 years ago

    by ragib

    Wow, great.. what a nice poem... :P keep writing.:P

  • 10 years ago

    by victoria

    That was beatiful. It so..uh..i cant explain it..but it makes u feel.=]. So visual so honest. Great work. Congrats on being a winnner.

    p.s. thankx for saying i gave good advice on the disscusion bored.

  • 10 years ago

    by kyah waters

    OMG I LOVE YOUR POEMS YOU ARE SO GOOD AT WRITING THEM. do you have msn? we could catch up?

    kyah xx

  • 8 years ago

    by Giegielove Goddess Poet

    I gave you 5/5 for the Excellent Poem! Keep it up the good work always! More blessings to you!

    -Giegielove-

  • 8 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    A good, calming, well written piece of writing. Your use of wording it what captured me the most. You also have intriguing rhymes.

    Brad

    P.S. Please vote and comment honestly on every poem you read.

  • 7 years ago

    by *NiCoLe*

    Amazing poem 5/5

  • 7 years ago

    by Lucy

    Wow, so beautiful, loved the imagery! You are an amazing poet.

  • 7 years ago

    by karyssa smith

    Absolutly beautiful! I loved every part of the poem and how you gave the rose some human characteristics, like it's blushing.