I can't

I sit here wondering why
Why I feel I should die
Die because I have no life
Die because I've lost my light
Was it you that took that away
Or was it me that allowed it to happen that way
I don't know I struggle to decide
And when it's to be faced I run and hide
It hurts so much I try to be strong
As this feeling I know it is so wrong
It eats me up more each day
Biting and tearing in every way
Can't hold it down no matter how much I try
Please help me I need to do more than cry
My emotional jar is full it's over flowing
I can't keep it up just can't keep going
I've tried to be strong oh so long
My hope is lost my stamina gone
There's no way out only one way in
My life is over a new chapter to begin
Will I see a tunnel of light
Or will it be a dark good night
I'll take my pills and think of pleasure
Hopefully someone will remember me forever
Oh no I can't it's just not right
Maybe there is something left in me maybe some fight
I guess we will just have to see
If you wake up next to an un-dead me.