I don't need you
i don't need any of this.
your flawless beauty
and i can cry all i want.
my tears will stain red.
and i can wish;
dream that i will fall asleep
and never wake up.
I'm lost, confused.
the shadow of my past hovers over me.
blocking the sunlight.
and your only my flashlight.
my temporary brightness.
when you dim, dark will fall.
and was i just naive?
a bit too glamorous?
you tell me that i won.
that no matter what happens,
I'll always be the winner.
but inside i know i failed.
failed at staying sober;
being myself;
being like the rest of you;
i failed at loving;
giving up;
dealing with pain;
with loss.
and i can bleed all i want.
just to feel alive again.
to feel like somebody.
to free my devils.
and I'm tired of pretending
that I'm OK.
when I'm far from that.
my blood will run dry.
and i want a sweet escape.
death;
the bitter, metal taste of soul
I'm dying on your lips.
but I'm afraid of dying.
I'm afraid of living
an endless battle;
that i will fail.
i don't need to win anymore, though.
its a perfect cycle.
suicidal love hitting the horizon.
pain breaking through dawn.
me falling into you.
for the last time.
