I really like the first and last stanzas. the rest doesnt click with me though. it's sad :(

i kno im stating the obvious.

Here I am,
Begging to you;
For I am scared
And I don't know what to do.
------------------------------------------
Loved those lines. ^^^

This was a short poem, yet so sad. I can relate alot. You did a great job on this, Keep it up! 5/5

`Taleee. xx.

Great poem...I loved it....I am speachless...Great job..
Emma 5/5

I could relate to this poem so much, in fact I bet many can, that's just the beauty of your words. It was very emotional and well put together, flowed so beautifully until the ending which was an excellent finish! 5/5

Very nice job

Great job
"I don?t know what it is I'm doing"
i think you mean don't

just letting you know ok

5/5
again great job

I like this best out of the ones I've read. A lovely choice of vocab on this one, an excellent flow. The rhyming scheme sounds absolutely fine this time. One little suggestion though. This line:

"Determining whether or not I walk or fall"
I would suggest dropping the 'or not'. I think it would sound better.

Other than that, it's perfect. x

Great poem!! I love it--The flow is great, but there is an error in it-A couple other people have mentioned it-the dont is don?t---I agree with Kara that in the line:

''Determining whether or not I walk or fall'' you should drop the ''or not'' which will improve the flow. Other than that everything is perfect! 5/5 Keep it up!

Hmmm again you could do better
4/5
~Emah

Aww, very sad but well written, a bit too short for my liking but it flowed well and was a good read
xxxxx

Good read but I'm with the people on that one line. It made the flow rocky when the pom itself was good.

Wow this is another good one of yours! :)

Awwwh. I loved it, it's really sad. The flow was great though. Great work.

Wow this one is really good im not going to lie! lol :) 5/5

Great poem i love the use of repetition of the first line. simple structure but effective could have been longer but that just proves i really liked it and wanted to hear more :P xxALLYxx

I didn't like this poem as much, until the end. It's good that you're looking for help though, good luck with that. I didn't find this poem very interesting to read, but you did have a good idea.

--Steph

I noticed that first line is the same again, but its not laid out as parquette lol great heart felt poem, i kinda pictures a peson standing in a huge white box looking around confused

This poem is really good! i like your choice of words and how it rhymes... i like how you repeated the first line in every stanza, awesome! i love the last part, it really stood out to me! good job!

This poem is really good! i like your choice of words and how it rhymes... i like how you repeated the first line in every stanza, awesome! i love the last part, it really stood out to me! good job!