C'mon Sweetie [the show]

by 0oAshleyo0   Sep 25, 2008


C'mon Sweetie,
lets put on a show...
About a girl and a boy,
You'll play the main role.

You'll be a happy guy,
You'll be alot of fun,
and when your lines comes,
you'll tell me "your the one"

I'll fall for all your lies,
And i will think that I'm in love,
We'll be the "cutest couple"
And in your arms I'll fit, So snug...

We'll be happy for a while,
everything will go just fine,
I'll think that I'm in heaven,
Just knowing that you're mine...

But then SHE'LL come along,
You'll tell me your just friends,
But I'll be smart enough to see
the messages she sends...

The smiles, the winks, the laughs
everything i held so dear...
they'll all be so meaningless,
now that your giving them to her.

You'll break my heart so gently,
I'll not know what to do,
every thought, dream, memory,
will lead me straight to you.

And even after you've left me
hurting and swallowed by the pain,
I'll start to feel better once more...
I'll become alive again.

I'll go out and explore the world,
looking for someone new...
Hoping everything he says,
this time, will be true.

And then one day I'll find him,
Oh, the little games boys play...
He'll start to act just like you,
And at this point i will say

"C'mon Sweetie,
Lets put on a show."

[[Weak ending... but I'm trying to re-write it. tell me what you think]]

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by sexyCheckers

    I think it's an awesome ending... Loved it alot.
    My fav. part issssss -
    "The smiles, the winks, the laughs
    everything i held so dear...
    they'll all be so meaningless,
    now that your giving them to her."

    Grrr!!!
    Loved it. <3 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Inside the Liar

    I didn't think the ending was weak. I think it reiterated the point of the poem, implying, if I'm guessing correctly, that the same thing is going to happen again. I really enjoyed reading it. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by JustKristina

    Aww babe...
    And you tell me i'm a good writer?
    pcht!
    You did a wonderful job of conveying your emotions in this piece. I liked how it was kinda a story, in a way. Some of the stanzas were weak...could be tuned up a bit. Or some of your rhyming was off. But i still got the message. I'd say, that by fixing these few little glitches...you'd have an amazing, super-duper fantabulous-o poem.
    I miss talkin to you. And so, i don't know the whole story behind this...
    But remember my theory on scummy boys *tehe*
    ILLLLLLLY! :]

  • 17 years ago

    by PRiNCESS SKiTTLEZ

    Great poem!! It really does apply to the story that repeats itself over and over again between a girl and boy!! Keep writing!! You're good at it!!

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