"The porch lights grow brighter as the water finally starts drying from my eyes."

I love this beginning, and also how you told a story..

"So I'll close my eyes tonight and dont"

"dont" should be "don't".

"The stars feel lonely tonight without you here. this dreaded loneliness has become my worse fear."

I love that first line, wording so wonderfully.
"worse" should be "worst".

"Now the coffee cups are building up on my bed side, filled with emptiness. My eyes are fluttering trying to fight this grogginess. your words are echoing in my head and just wont let me put this day to bed."

"wont" should be "won't".

But otherwise than that, this was my favorite part^your words told such a story, and you expressed so much of how you want him to stay, and how you really feel. Nice job, keep writing, always and forever...

Good job.....5/5

Omg, i luv this stanza:

"The stars feel lonely tonight without you here. this dreaded loneliness has become my worst fear. the feeling of happiness I have forgotten. There are no sounds other then your yelling and slamming door, but when it all dies down I'll beg for more. because I miss your voice, but in the end I will have to remember I always had a choice."

i totally remember when i used to feel that way. it was hard. REALLY hard. you portrayed this feeling really well in your poem. nice flow, it sounded really rhythmical.

great poem, keep it up!

~Sophie~

Great poem. nice flow. sounded really nice.

its great, write more.

=]

mike

Awww.... that was really good. i loved the last four lines. 10/5 ~KM~