Life is running away on me.
i cann't even move.
im too tired to bother with anything
and i can't concentrate on anything.
school seems like a hopeless labyrinth of trap doors,
meaningless explainations and
languages i can't understand.
I don't see people, but obstacles,
because i cannot work up the means or the energy to hold a conversation.
i can't seem to work up the energy to care about it if i do manage a few words.
I want to be alone yet I can't stand to be alone
becasue all that does is make everything worse.
I want to be away from people away from their complication,
but when i am by myself,
i only feel more alone and lonely and i can't stand it.
my words flow through people's ears like air;
an unheard whisper, but i am screaming.
but i can't scream because then it is definite no one will listen.
so i am either choosing to have people listen, but not understand,
or to not lsiten at all.
I do not care to live.
it hurts too much
and i can't see what is around the corner but a dark cloud.
it seems to me a fog has taken over my life,
clouding everything i know is psychologically true and correct and
showing me illusions that
i understand are untrue and
i can see are just a mood,
btu i feel and
beleive and
am forced to succumb to anyway.
life is hopeless and i don't knwo how to get away from it.
am i going crazy?
