I miss my sister

I remember when we were little and we used talk and play
I was young, you were just a little bit older who know what there was to say
although you were older i always watched you
making sure you stayed out of trouble and was always with the crew
we got older and you seem to push me away
like in your life i was the delay
I'd watch you do so many things that i felt i had could not stop
from smoking to drinking to having sex on the block
I blamed myself praying to god you'd get better
But you just said that you had to become a go getter
I blamed our family for the beatings and the rape
the ongoing mental abuse that we just could not escape
I blamed the system that placed us in foster care
separating our whole family as if that was fair
when your anger shot up and you started doing drugs
i wanted to hate you for hanging with those thugs
I missed my sister who you used to be
but i knew from the changes that girl is who i will never see
i still had you in my life i was happy with that
even though you would chill with me or even chat
but then you went away leaving me
i blamed my self for not going with you and your pain i didn't see
i blamed the foster mother for letting you go
taking away my life's light and its light little glow
i blamed the system who didn't do their jobs
putting you in any type of home making your heart sob
i blamed you for wanting to leave
even though you knew you were naive
i blamed god for putting this in our paths
separating us forever knowing it would last
I missed my sister who was no longer there
all of the things you did from jumping rope to doing my hair
Now your somewhere i do not know
and the only memories i have is has to do with long ago
i miss you my sister really i do
and i vow here and now i will find you