Count down to the breakdown

I'm counting down,
to the emotional breakdown.
But right now,
my mask's on display.
Shadowing my face,
from societies crooked ways.
But right now,
I walk the wrong direction,
mainstream just isn't my reflection.

3..

2..

1..

Dropping to my knees,
letting anger and despair corrode me.
Ridding me of my soul,
crying tears blacker than coal.
I'm breaking down,
holding some pill bottle I found.
Smirnoff and pain killers,
suicide indeed.

Look at me,
I'm not breathing.
Look at me,
I'm screaming.

I close my eyes,
an empty pill bottle by my side.