The crick of forbidden love

by Kaila   Nov 19, 2008


She dangles her feet against the crisp, crick water.
Daydreaming of him haunts her heart with desire,
tucking loose locks behind her warm ear; innocence.
Biting her lower lip his smile creeps into her mind.

Rustling of the grass breaks her lustful trance,
she spots them and like a jaguar she sprints.
Her graceless feet, skip in the topsoil dirt scatters,
hair flying back behind her shoulders looking back.

Crouching low behind a tree, she glimpses wanting;
the boys laugh and splash in the crick, smiling lovely.
He perceives her, enthralled by her dusty presence,
she slowly rises gripping her heart tightly in her palm.

Step by step they get closer to forbidden territory;
as their eyes meet an earthquake jolts around the world.
Palm to palm they gasp by the surging electricity;
noses inching to wards the other, begging for it.

Soft satin lips graze the others not wanting to rush,
their chests collapse and fill with nervousness.
Closing their eyes they are hit with an unusual feeling,
water hitting their cheeks, grinning they jump in.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Annaam

    Wow... This really is great work... Ur usage of words and excellent description really built a strong imagery in the reader's mind, making them want to read till the very end... :). Each feeling has been described very well... And really, I don't think I have anything more I can say. Excellent Work! :)

    5/5
    Keep It Up! :)

  • 15 years ago

    by SilentSuicide

    Again, beautiful writing style. i like your style of writing<3

  • 15 years ago

    by Austin

    Very descriptive. I thought it was a nice poem. Not too many grammatical mistakes or problems with your scheme. Overall there isn't much to say. Well done.

  • 15 years ago

    by Miss Behaving

    Wow O.o This is amazing! Wonderful poem this is. I love descriptive words and the emotion in this poem. Very nice vocabulary. Helps picture the story in my head. I see what you mean when you use emotion to pull them into the story. You do wonderful in drawing in the readers attention. I was totally focused into the reading. I loved it a lot! 5/5 Very Amazing Poem.