Open Thoughts of My Heart (Part I)

( um what can i say, except for writing this took hurt like knifes, so enjoy...)

I am beginning to tear two ways. With one, love its just pain ready to begin again. Its as if I feel each scar that has been engraved upon her heart, yet she still finds a way to keep her smile, and I just want to take it all away, the pain, the hurt, and the tears that she cries in the darkness, where no eyes can reach. You mean more to me than you realize...

Where am I in your world, what place do you have for me? If anything I beg you do not place me far away, like an object on a shelf with the rest of the world, but keep me close to you by your bed side, so I can watch over you as you drift into a dream where nothing can ever harm you... If it was possible I would make it so that you never have to shed another unneeded drop of rain, I would make that gentle smile on your face, really be true and not just a painted image , that hides the true expression underneath.

In my dreams I call out for you, to fill the empty void in my soul, but even with the closing of my eyes, I cannot find you. I hope one day you will realize that my heart was giving to you from the beginning, without you having to ask for it, and maybe I'll receive yours in return... That's a far away dream though isn't it, but no matter how much I want to, I cannot force to love me.

And it hurts...