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by ShyandHurt Nov 22, 2008 category : Sadness, depression / about depression
I try to be brave, try to not let people see through me. I try to be careful, try to not let people see how much I want to scream and cry. I try to be happy, try to let people believe I'm just fine. But what no one has seen is when this tough exterior vanishes and a young girl is only to be seen. Naive eyes, confused and pain covered. Whimpering sounds bounce off the walls, surrounding me. Curled in a ball I cry, letting all my frustrations out, that young child showing her face. I hate her, she makes me weak. She makes my heart vulnerable. My blue blanket wraps around me instead of someone's arms. My pillow caresses my wet cheek instead of a shoulder. The bed supports my shaking and heavy, limp body instead of someone's warm figure. No one comes, the house is silent, an innocent quietness, so unknowing. They don't know of my pain, of my hurt, and off my inner young girl. The world sees me as hard and unforgiving, when I hide my emotions. Does anyone see now? Do you get it? I'm not hard, I'm not cold. I just am so afraid of my young childish tears to fall, I can't let myself care. Do you see now?