Comments : Engaging Body Language

  • 11 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    I love it Tabi!

    The feeling of romance in the air...weee-ooo!
    So beauitful and exiting and you have captured it so splendidly in your verse!
    Bravo sweet girl!

    Hugs,

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 11 years ago

    by Nic

    Awww baby i love it!!!!

    I Love You :D

  • 11 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    Just one instigating look,
    a lock of passionate eyes.
    Desire and temptation
    instantly appear and arise.

    Accidental spark filled touch,
    as you purposely brushing by.
    brushing should be brush .. It doesn't make sense .
    Hearts begin to flutter and flip
    like they are on some kind of high.

    An alluring cracked smile,
    only flashed on the face.
    Enough to get anyone's
    heart to start to race.

    Drawing and inviting giggle
    deliberately caresses the silence.
    caresses should be caress .
    No other melody would have
    sufficed the craving of perfection.
    This doesn't rhyme like the rest of the poem , so it kind of throws it off .

    Irresistible dimples
    appear on a blushed cheek.
    Maybe just one kiss
    can quietly be sneaked.

    Fierce but seductive wink,
    flickers at the key moment.
    Rules of things forbidden
    are no longer able to be seen.
    Same thing here .

    Impulse takes control,
    no longer can either resist.
    Both are anticipating the spark that
    will be obtained by this single kiss.

    Hearts are racing faster than one thought possible,
    while breathing seems to get harder to control.
    Bodies are as close as nature can allow,
    becoming one person in the end is the goal.

    Temptation wins,
    lips meet and sparks send.
    Do not be a fool to think
    that this kiss will be the end.

    The idea is very cute . It's easy to relate to . You've just got to watch your rhyming and grammar . 4/5

  • 11 years ago

    by love always finds a way

    This is really cute it reminds me of how my first kiss was with my ex lol

  • 11 years ago

    by PlasticSmile

    Beautifully written piece. I loved the words you chose. The imagery is really good. Great job. xo

  • 11 years ago

    by DarkCrystalbtrfy

    Very nice imadgry! A very firey and passion filled poem. Im impressed. I havent read many love poems that have the creativity that you put into this one. Most times its too mushy to love e dove e. But the word choice in this is exelent.
    I could defenatly get a clear image of what you were saying through out your poem

    My favorite lines were:
    I've never trusted others,
    Because I always had you.
    But your gone now,
    And I'm started to wonder if we were true.

    Well Written
    Darkcrystalbtrfy

  • 11 years ago

    by vintage darling

    This poem was really well written.
    the adjectives fit so well.

    my favourite stanza:
    Just one instigating look,
    a lock of passionate eyes.
    Desire and temptation
    instantly appear and arise.

    you had me at the first line.
    this poem is so relatable.
    keep up the good work.

  • 11 years ago

    by AngelicDecadence

    I completely adored this! This was so cute, especially for a first kiss poem. Completely adorable. I was so absorbed into this from the first 2 lines, so cute! You're imagery and rhyme scheme were perfect as well. I can't think of anything to critique, great job!

    Favorite stanza:
    Temptation wins,
    lips meet and sparks send.
    Do not be a fool to think
    that this kiss will be the end.

    ^^ loved the last line.
    5/5
    *Chaotic Angel*

  • 11 years ago

    by Brittany C

    Nice poem, I can really relate to it. The wording was great. It really explained what was going on.

    My favorite stanza was
    "Impulse takes control,
    no longer can either resist.
    Both are anticipating the spark that
    will be obtained by this single kiss."
    I gave this poem a 5/5.

  • 11 years ago

    by Loved In Hell

    That was ...strong.....really. my mouth fell open while i was reading it because it felt so real. Like an intense scene in a love story...or maybe just lust. It was very well structured too.
    Great emotion
    Really good flow
    keeps the reader wanting more. Great job all around. 5/5
    laura

  • 11 years ago

    by Cara

    What a beautiful love poem.. truely devine :)
    my favourite stanza -

    A drawing and inviting giggle
    caresses the silence in every direction.
    No other melody would have
    sufficed the craving of perfection

    ^^ written to perfection i think. it was perfect.... awesome job.

    5/5 definitely.

  • 11 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "Just one instigating look,
    a lock of passionate eyes."
    `Perfectly done! Instigating! Beautiful way to start a poem.. the first thing you think of between two people is how their eyes meet and they instantly become locked.

    "Desire and temptation
    instantly appear and arise."
    `Youre right. Then the desired and temptation arise, and its impossible to resist. :]

    "Accidental spark filled touch,
    as you purposely brush by."
    `Oooh. I love it! I dont know why I loved this so much.. I thought there was something original behind using the words accidental and purposely the way you did.. not sure what it is loll. I just adored it. I thought it was unique in a way.

    "An alluring cracked smile,
    only flashed on the face.
    Enough to get anyone's
    heart to start to race."
    `Beautifully done. Alluring was the most gorgeous word you could have used. :]

    "A drawing and inviting giggle
    caresses the silence in every direction."
    `Caresses.. oh goodness. :] I love this! You really are doing a great job using your title.. Engaging Body Language.. the eyes meeting, then the brush up against eachother, and the alluring smile, .. Its all coming together perfectly! Then now you have the inviting giggle.. makes me wander whats next.

    "
    Irresistible dimples
    appear on a blushed cheek.
    Maybe just one kiss
    can quietly be sneaked."
    `Awww. So cuute.

    "Fierce but seductive wink,
    flickers at the right time."
    `Youre doing amazing! The flow is flawless, the words are outstanding and everything is just coming together extremely well. Seductive wink.. Ahh, your adjectives are mindblowing!

    "Impulse takes control,
    no longer can either resist."
    `Like I said before.. the desire and temptation is to much to resist.

    "Temptation wins,
    lips meet and sparks send."
    `:] yupp yupp.

    Loved this piece!
    Engaging Body Language -~Perfectly fitting title!-~
    5/5.

  • 11 years ago

    by Blissful

    I just loved the title! It was so unique and caught my eye.

    "Hearts begin to flutter and flip
    like they are on some kind of high."
    ^Oh boy I know that feeling oh too well. You just lose control because that person gets your head spinning and heart skipping a beat filling like youre on some kinda drug.

    "No other melody would have
    sufficed the craving of perfection."
    ^I just loved how you worded this! It flowed so flawlessly off my tongue when I read it out loud and the meaning behind it was immense and beautiful. Perfect choice of words.

    "Rules of things forbidden
    no longer appear as a crime."
    ^Well said! I loved the atmosphere you created here with your words. Sometimes people give into lust but feel guilt as if they've committed a crime but the power unleashed by temptation is just too much too control and you have to feed that desire.

    Loved the ending! What a innocent play on words to foreshadow that the kiss was not the end…it leaves me the reader wanting more and asking what happens after! Your use of imagery here was flawless in painting an image of two souls wanting to give in to their desires and feel the sensation of love and lust. Your rhyme was great here and your choice of words were simple yet filled with meaning. A beautiful poetic write you have penned here that leaves the reader wanting more!

    Well done.
    *5/5* :]

  • 11 years ago

    by kelleyana

    You are very talented. Your Title just caught my eyes and the wording in your poem are just wonderful. What makes your poem unique and wonderful, is that everyone can relates to it. You blow me off my feet. I love it. 5/5, kel.

  • 11 years ago

    by AGirlWorthFightingFor

    This is perfect and erotic in all the right ways.

  • 11 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Overall an emotional and heartfelt write. The flow was almost flawless in my opinion, I felt the flow would be flawless with some more usage of punctuation. Although you had some within, it wasn't as much as I would've liked to see. Punctuation is very important in poetry since it lets the reader know when to pause or stop as well as adding to the overall flow. The structure was good and your choice of wording was excellent. I like your style of writting, keep up the good work.

    Peace, Joe