I'm done
by waiting for the unknown Dec 3, 2008
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Maybe it isn't every day |
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14 years ago
by Lady Nik
Maybe it isn't every day
But every day that you slip up,
*I'd change "day" to "time" that seems to make sense with what you said above more*
Sometimes it seems like it's getting better
But then it gets worse
It feels like we take two steps ahead,
And then 6 steps back
*When you are writing it is proper to spell out numbers so I'd make "6" "six". I liked this stanza though. I can relate to what you're saying. It's frustrating to feel like you are going somewhere to end up nowhere*
Every intolerable remark adds to the burden placed on my shoulders
*I'd take this line put, it almost repeats what you said in the lines before it. Plus its length throws off the flow*
Then you build me back up
With apologies
And empty promises of a better future
And not to my surprise, it gets worse
*I can relate to this too. People telling toy lies to make tou feel better than they mess up again and that brings you back to where you were the first time. It does nothing but hurt you more. Very sad but so true*
Because I'm just a child
I'm not an adult
I can't support you and your temper any more
*This part was really sad to me. I really loved this piece. I felt that it was so innocent and intense at the same time. I can feel yuo breaking inside as a result of what this person does to you and that is such a sad feeling. I really loved this poem hun and I'm here for you if you ever need someone. :) Nik*
