Mel, I missed your poetry so much :)
I love the whole metaphor, it's brilliant, so refreshing. This is definitely one of the best poems I've read in a while. The imagery that you portrayed absolutely amazed me, it's so vivid, and this poem holds a world of its own. Also, I like the choice of words throughout the piece, it's effective and it made the poem truly unique.

I can relate to the topic in a way, it made this piece closer to me, simply heartfelt. Your emotional descriptions are overwhelming, creative and every stanza made me really think about it. I feel like I could re-read this piece so many times and don't get enough of its astonishing atmosphere.

The beginning pulled me in, especially these lines within the first stanza-
"Though he'll catch me;
is it really worth falling
into the gas chambers of war"
^^^
endlessly original. greatly written.

- The western front of his heart
is like a match within the night.-
^^^
I love these lines, they're so vivid.

The second stanza is my favorite one, it holds the most powerful atmosphere.
Also, the ending lines round up whole piece excellently.

I really wish I could give you some constructive criticism, but I personally think that this poem doesn't need it. It's flawless to me.

Keep writing, I hope you'll post more of your newer work soon :)

Yay, new poem :)
That is taking me forever trying to interpret. xD
This is more ... straightforward than your usual pieces, but the beauty of your words are still there which is cor.

I am a fan of darkness,
his lips seem to beckon desire.
`I love that you admit that you fancy darkness--which to me, could be the bad boy, the player, the mysterious one, or the just plain not-good-for-you kind of guy. I'm sure we've all aimlessly walked toward someone we knew wasn't good for us, so the use of "beckon" here is perfect.

To sweep into monochrome is;
only to die a better man.
Though he'll catch me;
is it really worth falling
into the gas chambers of war
I'll purge my existence.
`Stunning. I'm rather stuck on the meaning behind monochrome and dying a better man... Maybe be be straight laced and ... generic is to be the "better man" ? But when you say "only," I feel like you're brushing it off in the sense that it's like, "But who wants to be the better man anyway?" Adding onto the darkness. And I love the metaphor and the imagery here. It transitions from a sweep of monochrome to gas chambers of war--ironic, beautiful. You realize that he's not healthy for you, and you're debating whether it's really worth it... now I'm just trying to figure out whether "purge" here is in the sense that you'll erase yourself or to free yourself from sin--maybe you've already given yourself to him but you're lying to yourself? and that's a "sin" in itself? So many possibilities.

I've bred my insanity within;
accumulate trenches.
`Insanity is the bad guy--but you're breeding (love the choice of word!) it within your growing protection against enemy fire. It's a paradox within itself; your heart is half the enemy--that is already within your barrier--and the other half (the person) is standing right there waiting for you to surrender.

Warfare seems beautiful when
armed by artillery.
A stalemate has occurred; for
we're battling light again.
The western front of his heart
is like a match within the night.
`oh, god this is absolutely mesmerizing. the sun sets in the west--"a match within the night." love (warfare) SEEMS beautiful when dangerous (armed by artillery.) but when placed between your heart and mind, it's always stalemate because you'll never know which is right and which is wrong--the light, the line between what you want and what you shouldn't obtain. Yet through it all, one side (and only one side) of his heart is your light through his darkness. But that's enough for you, because at least then he isn't full "bad."

We shall battle till the end,
Only to weaken our hearts.
`Flawless ending. In my interpretation, you're basically fighting. You're fighting against your mind and for your heart, and he's fighting for you. The constant battle will end someday, but despite the outcome, both your hearts will weaken. Whether or not you'll be strong enough to strengthen them together--or alone--is left up to the reader to ponder.

Wonderfully structured; beautifully written. I love how you were able to build and branch off from one single metaphor throughout the whole entire piece. Amazing write. As per usual :)

..__MiNDYY

Congrats on the win Mel. Well deserved :)

I liked it, but it was a little confusing. Maybe I was just too dumb to get it. :) Heheehehe.

The ending left a little suddenly, and a little flat. It seemed like it needed one or two more lines.

I loved the line, "Love is no match for glory, when
you're sinning yourself to sleep." That's awesome sounding.

Oh WOW..this is just mind blowing! Your choice of words and the image it conjures leaves me in awe. Congratulations!

This seems like a pure interrogatoin of love. i have to say that i agree with each word and action.

-Lilith

Great work, this was a creative and orginal piece, and no surprise you won the contest in the past! I love your wording, it really sets the scene perfectly...Excellent metaphors, and the flow was perfect! The imagery was so vivid and poems like this very much intrigue me...Take care, 5/5 from me..