Bad year

It's been a bad year
3 times I have taken a load of pills
1 time I looked at the dogs and tried to vomit them back up
2 times. well...........It just didnt take
3 days sleep. Thats all that came of it
Dumped, smashed, stomped, and trashed
Jumped off the face of the earth
cutting. starving. hating all of what is left of me
Gaining, losing, gaining, and losing everything
Smashing a bike into 5 trees
Broke some ribs. Busted a leg
Didnt really matter
Just threw that damn helmet on the ground
Screamed so loud. My motto. "S*n of a B*t*h"
No one heard. That loud can't penetrate morons ears
A few occasions I had access to the "brown bag"
Could I do it?
Oh yes I could
But why didnt I?
Cause I cant "clean" myself up!
Old, fat, ugly. That is what I see
I failed myself
Thieves, liars, and manipulators surround me
I eat. I starve. I cut. I cry.
This is what the dregs are feeding on
Me
The Failure
wanna strangle the short shorts, high socks one
But he is a brother to others, and to another he is their son
Getting over on me is simple
Just take whatever you want
Stab me in the front and back
I am a failure
Overcome with newfound morals
Me is no more
I am a vessel of failure
Not a heaven or a hell
Excess serotonin is where I dwell
It's been a bad year
Horrid. Vivid. Sick
My actions are my fear