Great poem!! great use of words! it was awesome! keep writing! : )

Well, thank you for letting me you wrote a new poem. I was actually very impressed with your ability to rhyme and have great words.. and not make it seem too cliche or boring. This poem really was great.. the word choice was extremely well. I was pleased how the words were bigger and better and rhymed perfectly.

Flawless write.
5/5.

This was a very good write, all your stanzas had a nice flow and the rhyming was very good! Overall a really enjoyable read this is a very good poem =]

A very good poem.

Rhyme was great, didnt sound forced or anything

The flow was perfect in every stanza.

No critisms at all, so this comment wont help improve it because i dont think it can b improved. It is a great poem

Ok, well. I guess I could start off with saying this was very different. Unique? Not quite.
You had a nice little rhyme scheme going on, but it had a minor relapse in Verse 4 and 6.
There wasn't much of a flow to this poem, it jolted every now and then.

Your descriptive language is very good,
"An enticing illusion, crawling
with twisted conclusions."
Definitely one of my favourite lines in this poem. It didn't have to make sense with the rest of the poem, on it's own, it's quite captivating.

You did have some, well, not so great lines.
"The elegant line of love,
slightly kissing hates. "
Didn't seem like a strong line to describe the opposition of love and hate. You spoke of a line, I think you should write about crossing over it. Instead of kissing hate, because that sounds really dry and boring.
"The elegant thin line of love,
slightly crossing over to hate"
Whatever works for you. I'm just suggesting.

The last thing I had to comment on, was the title of the poem, vs. the last line of the poem. I'm not sure if it was meant to contradict, but it does. Saying you are kicking the habit, but letting up for another round, doesn't seem like a strong way to end a poem. Either elimiate "but Kicking the Habit" or change the end.

All in all, it was a good poem. You have a lot of insight, and a lot of descriptive language, which I think, you held back on with the structure of this poem. I think you should let loose next time, and just write a free style type poem, with no boundaries. I will definitely be back to read that.

Tabi,

I just returened home from a short trip and found your beauitful poem here!
You are growing up so fast, my young friend!
I love how you kept the lines short and used very little filler words:)
A beautiful with a clear message:)
I am proud to be your friend/ fan!

Hugs,

5/5 Ingrid

This is amazing! <3 well written
i just love it!

You're vocabulary in this is amazing.
I don't consider a poem a real "poem"
Unless you can feel the emotion from the writer.
I've read alot of you're poems and they are nothing but emotion.
I love it. !!!!

Overall, this poem was very well thought out and enjoyable.
"So, this is what I've become.
Your perspective is quite unique.
Such beauty in the breakdown.
Somehow, still shockingly chic."

I like the use of the rhyme, but it looks slightly odd when reading it. Just a note I thought I'd jot down. The opening went well.

"Flashbacks of perfectly
imitated affection. "
With these two lines being smaller than the others they are easily seen and pointed out when reading. I suggest trying to make your lines as close to each other as possible although it is not a need at all. Those two lines were very pretty.

"The elegant line of love,
slightly kissing hates. "
I suggest a rephrasing of the last line or maybe slipping in a word. Ever using, 'hate," instead of 'hates,' would sound better, but forming it a different way would fix the smoothness.

"An enticing illusion, crawling
with twisted conclusions.
Such an intriguing devotion of
rare and manipulative emotion. "
This was my favorite stanza, well done! -claps- The rhyme and flow was excellent.

Good work, keep it up!

This is excellant
amazing even

Wow! amazing...i wish i could write like this...how do you do it? 5/5

So, this is what I've become.
Your perspective is quite unique.
Such beauty in the breakdown.
Somehow, still shockingly chic.

Very good opening... Draws the reader quite in... I'm actually quite fond of the expression "beauty in the breakdown" (who would say? ;) ) because it is for me what poetry is all about... A way to turn feelings into an incredible beauty, even when these feelings hurt you more than anything...
The expression "chic" kind of surprised me... I found it quite original...

A tainted ensemble of intrusion.
So many sentiments and misconceptions.
Not to forget the blissful betrayals,
featuring the infinite hidden deceptions.

A wonderful stanza... Sad, yet beautiful... It makes me think of a hurricane of feelings... It pictures your emotions quite well... Your oxymoron is intersting: "blissful betrayals"... Actually betrayal can be quite blissful for the person betraying... But it breaks the betrayed person apart...

Crisp flashbacks of perfectly
initiated but false affection.
Even some passive reassurance
of seemingly genuine protection.

The "flashbacks" created a very good image... It is like you can see the seemingly perfection of life before your eyes fading away... I also like how you describe the "perfectly initiated but false affection"... Like the person who seemed to love you pretended perfectly yet was discovered due to something... A deep way to express your feelings...

What an amusing puzzle with
insignificant forgotten pieces.
Somewhere you discovered
rare reactions without ceasing.

Again, a very deep stanza... I'm not sure if I'm interpretating it like you meant it to be... But this puzzle makes me think of a shattered person or relationship because important aspects were left behind...

Elegant yet defenseless line of love
is unmercifully violated by hate.
Realizations that perhaps
no one can actually relate.

Now I am noticing that your poems has a lot of adjectivation... Actually, I find it good, it helps with the imagery...
Your first two lines here are absolutely powerful... love "unmercifully violated" by hate... the wonder of this image amazes me and creeps me...
Although, we all seem to believe people cannot relate to our suffer, in fact, they actually can...

An enticing illusion, crawling
with twisted conclusions.
Such an intriguing devotion of
rare and manipulative emotion.

Your wording here is spectacular... I really loved the thought of illusion crawling with twisted conclusions... A very strong write...

Those entertaining useless memories
frequently appear to harass your mind.
Just the flawless performance of acted
feelings you wish could be left behind.

These last two lines seem to break a little bit... It is a bit easy to notice that the sentence was broken in the middle...
Yet, it is still a very good stanza... I can really relate to this harrassment... And the way you described makes me think of a ghost of the past haunting through our mind...
I also can relate a lot to this last two lines... Sometimes you just can't let go...

So, this is what I've become.
Your perspective is quite unique.
Well, how insightful.
Same time next week?

A great ending... Quite surprising... Reminds me of my therapist...

Altogether:

Your wording is awesome, your imagery as well... The poem is quite easy to relate...
A wonderful connection with the title... It seems like you compare love to heroin or something related...
The flow is a little bit off in the last 2 lines of the 7th stanza, i believe, yet throughout the poem it flows pretty nicely...

5/5

*isabel*

Trully a masterpiece, i love it!! and the last line is like the cherry on the cake!!! same time next week? brilliant!

"So, this is what I've become.
Your perspective is quite unique.
Such beauty in the breakdown.
Somehow, still shockingly chic."
Wow, I love that stanza.

"An enticing illusion, crawling
with twisted conclusions.
Such an intriguing devotion of
rare and manipulative emotion"
That stanza just captured my attention! Great poem!

Waw, this is absolutely wonderful. I am greatful to come across your poems. All i can say is that you'd done a brilliant job. It merits 5/5, keep it up, kel.

This is a good write, you show a nice vocabulary though I'm not sure the general reader could assimilate your meaning in the first few readings. Your rhyme scheme starts well then goes off and comes back, consistency. The read is difficult due to the lack of metre/rhythm/flow in places line syllables are important to this.

"Crisp flashbacks of perfectly"
[Crisp flashbacks of perfection]

Overall this is a good poem. I think it's a bit wordy, too much and it's not needed. The emotion is okay but it's the type of emotion that's drug out in this poem. Like I said though, the poem is okay. Just not great. Considering that you've taken the emotion and made into more than what it is. I would say if there were another emotion or so portrayed, but there's not.

Interesting, a compilation of adjectives describing one lovers rantings of the other's perception.
The metre/rhythm of this write is off causing the flow to be inconsistent.

The rhyme scheme is perfect unforced the lines flow as if they are not depending on the scheme I feel that it is written to a real person and the emotion comes through with a great choice of words

The rhyme scheme is perfect unforced the lines flow as if they are not depending on the scheme I feel that it is written to a real person and the emotion comes through with a great choice of words