Short sweet and to the point is always good, but sometimes more should be expressed in a poem so short. I believe it was for Liz tho and deserving of a 5... sorry took so long im on my playstation right now haha

"Sparkling brown eyes,
In which are so divine."
- Why do you have a comma at the end of that line? To me it makes the pause longer and I don't think there should be a pause whatsoever there. When I put punctuation at the end of a line I make it like you would in a sentence because that's how majority read. So, I don't suggest putting that comma there. Considering people will pause longer and it will be like to separate lines, instead of one... even though it is? Lol, I think you'll understand what I mean though.

"Playing a heart filled potpourri."
- Catchy line. Adored it.

"Memorized your face,"
- I don't really like 'Memorized'. I believe it's too ill-elegant for the stanza and poem. It's a bit blunt. It works though, it fits, it sounds okay (probably just fine to most) but I'm not fond of it.

I really enjoyed this read. I thought that it was well written and pieced together nicely. I'm going to be honest, I've never really taken a liken to your poetry. You're a really good poet, don't take it the wrong way. I've always found a poem (1 out of every 5?) that I absolutely adored by you. But, the rest were just okay. This is the one out of every 5 that I like. I think that you put great emotion into it and you just wrote it so well. I might have to start keeping an eye on your writing again. (:

See if my liken's have changed?

Awww joe, this is beautiful
i liked the way it flowed
and I especially loved the lines:
"Embedded forever;always
Carved in our beating chest."

-Britt

Goodness Gracious, Joe! Yet again, you have mastered an outstanding piece of poetry! Short, but sweet, it stays on topic and uses some beautiful imagery. There's nothing to improve on (apart from a space is missing somewhere :D), so I'll just tell you which bits I loved the most - since I loved all of it anyway :D

Distant Heavens arise,
Vivid blue skies shine.
Sparkling brown eyes,
In which are so divine.

^^ This instantly hooked me. Already, in the first stanza, a lovely, happy image is created, crystal clear, not confusing at all... Loved it, great opener :)

Warmth from up above,
Tears flowing free.
Sadness and happiness thereof,
Playing a heart filled potpourri.

^^ I love how the 'tears' have been made happy instantly, without even looking at the third line of this stanza. I can't pin point it, but either the 'warmth' in the first line or the previous stanza have made it happy already. And I'm not entirely sure what a potpourri is (haha), but the 'heart filled' part makes it sounds happy. It sounds great anyway so no worries there :)

Time briefly frozen,
Memories are etched.
Embedded forever;always
Carved in our beating chest.

^^ Favourite stanza so far. The second line creates brilliant images especially - for the fact that the memories are etched, it creates the illusion of delicacy, and rarity (in my mind anyway). You need a space after the semi colon :D I also like the choice of pronoun 'our' instead of 'my' or 'your' - bringing these two people together, but also it feels like it is bringing the world together, the chest being the hub of human life. I don't know lol, but it works excellently.

Memorized your face,
Dreamt of where you are.
Beautiful strides of grace,
Upon the skies afar.

^^ Okay, maybe this stanza is now my favourite :D I love the way 'memorised' and 'dreamt' have been used in the same stanza, as they have hidden links to eachother, remembering a dream etc. 'Beautiful strides of grace' caught me, some fascinating imagery there, and the words sound like they were created to be together. Yet, we get the subtle, but present reality of knowing this heaven is out of our reach (last line).

Prayers have been answered,
There's nothing more to want.
For your love will continue
To forever carry me on.

^^ I do like this stanza, but compared to the rest of the poem it isn't at the same level. Don't get me wrong, it is excellent, but there is no image generating phrases here, and the words are quite common, compared to some of your word choices earlier. It's a beautiful concept to end on, but I think someone of your talent could improve this :)

Overall, I loved the poem. The flow was never failing, the rhythm went smoothly and the rhymes worked in every stanza. This is one of the best of your poems I have read, although shamefully I haven't read many, but this poem has turned me, and I will be looking at some of your others :)

Keep writing, 5/5
Emily :)

I love this poem! It's so well written with a soft genuine emotion. Very well structured too. Must say this is a wonderful write!

"Memorized your face,
Dreamt of where you are.
Beautiful strides of grace,
Upon the skies afar."

First off, in this stanza the rhyming is absoluetly flawless as well as the flow, and I really enjoyed the nice rhyming in this piece. Great descriptions in this stanza, of how you feel, etc. Really gives the reader an idea of what's going on and brings them into the piece.

"Prayers have been answered,
There's nothing more to want.
For your love will continue
To forever carry me on."

What sweet words you have written here, this has really touched me. 5/5 from me, a real treasure to read upon. Take care and keep up the wonderful work!

This is a really beautiful and heartfelt piece, I enjoyed reading it because your words portrayed lovely imagery ^^ However below I have pasted your poem and added some changes here and there which I belive will help the overall flow of the poem, It's totally upto you if you decide to use any of the ideas as it is your work =]

Distant Heavens arise,
Vivid blue skies shine.
Sparkling brown eyes,
In which are so divine.

[The line above was perfect to be honest so I diddnt think anything needed adding or changing ^^]

Warmth cascades from up above,
Whilst these tears flow so free.
Sadness entwines with happiness
Playing a heart filled potpourri.

Time has briefly frozen,
Life's memories have been etched.
Embedded forever;always
Carved into our beating chest.

[ I diddnt really want to change this stanza tomuch as I really did love the verse but I put one or two changes in]

Ive memorized your loving face,
Whilst I Dream of where you are.
Beautiful strides of angelic grace,
Upon the ocean skies afar.

[ I hope you dont mind but I think the changes above would help the rhythm of the piece ]

These prayers have been answered,
For Iv'e wanted your heart so long
For your love will always continue
To forever guide me on."

[ Again I really did like you ending but iv'e added a little something inwhich carries on the rhyme which you placed into the other stanzas]

I really did enjoy your poem and as I said you dont have to use anything iv'e added above ^^ Overall though you did a great job and it was a reall enjoyable read =]

'Distant Heavens arise,
Vivid blue skies shine.
Sparkling brown eyes,
In which are so divine.'

Straight to the point, there's no preamble, the feel of the poem is obvious from the first stanza and the word choice was very good. The use of that 'I' sound works.

'Warmth from up above,
Tears flowing free.
Sadness and happiness thereof,
Playing a heart filled potpourri. '

I'd use 'play' instead of playing, for the rhythm's sake. But that's all I can see that doesnt fit here, the flow was nice.

'Time briefly frozen,
Memories are etched.
Embedded forever;always
Carved in our beating chest'

You drum that idea of the feeling being engraved into you, three very successful verbs make this stanza stand out. Clever.

'Memorized your face,
Dreamt of where you are.
Beautiful strides of grace,
Upon the skies afar.'

This stanza had the best flow and word choice, very simple and to the point. The last stanza worked well too, but the third and fourth stand out to me.
A great write with some lovely imagery and emotion.

OMGG i love it!! so amazing!!!

The only thing that caught me off in this poem is the first stanza .. It just seems different to me than the rest of the poem , but I can't figure out why . But other than that , fantastic rhyming .. And a good flow to it , that is flawed at times though . Nice selection of words , and wonderful description . 5/5

I would rather focus on how the poem made me feel as I believe have the tough critisized the structure to death

I know the inspiration behind this and felt your choice of metaphors delivered your feelings quite well

Hmm, there was a slight slip in the rhyme scheme of this poem. You had a really nice ABAB format going, but the third and last verse didn't follow it. I think that was the only thing about this poem.

You managed to pull of a really weird rhyme there with 'free' and 'potpourri', I wouldn't have thought of that one, ever. I really enjoyed this poem, it was short but sweet. You didn't need many words to describe how you were feeling, and it worked really well. The reader is still able to have those same feelings. I really do enjoy your love poems, this one was a bit shakey, but defintiely still enjoyable. Keep it up!

I've been reading a lot of your poems, you have a talent for simple language combined with complex imagery and relatable messages. I loved this piece all the same. Can't wait to see something new from you.

Danny

Distant Heavens arise,
Vivid blue skies shine.
Sparkling brown eyes,
In which are so divine.
^^ someone once told me that eyes are the doorway to the soul and you portrayed that here when a guy looks into a girls eyes and can say what you said here it is magical i mean we feel like a princess when that happens : ) you had a very unique way of writing something that could easily have sounded cliche

Warmth from up above,
Tears flowing free.
Sadness and happiness thereof,
Playing a heart filled potpourri.
^^ to be honest i didn't know what "potpourri" was so i looked it up! i felt really stupid when i read the definition because i knew what it was just when i read it the wording didn't register with the way it was pronounced to me anyway back to your poem! you used a bit of wording that was different from the ordinary poems "thereof" isn't something i read to often anymore and it was unique for me to read in your poem

Time briefly frozen,
Memories are etched.
Embedded forever;always
Carved in our beating chest.
^^ i adored this stanza!!! so my favorite!!!!!! i liked the idea of memories being etched it was an intriguing idea very adorable if you ask me i liked the way you put always after forever you were re enforcing what you wanted to get across it was very effective

Memorized your face,
Dreamt of where you are.
Beautiful strides of grace,
Upon the skies afar.
^^i think it is so cute the way you feel about who ever you are writing this about it is very heartfelt and genuine i would love it if a guy would write something like this about me it is powerful to read !

Prayers have been answered,
There's nothing more to want.
For your love will continue
To forever carry me on.
^^ very very perfect and appropriate ending i wouldn't change a thing here!

you have a very cute and heartfelt piece here!!! the words all played magically with one another and it captivated me : ) i wouldn't change anything at all with this poem i hope whoever you wrote it about gets to read it
5/5