I'm unsure of what this word is "Subusc" I looked it up although I couldn't seem to find it anywhere. Maybe it's a typo?

I liked the meaning behind this poem, I felt it was well written, even though for a love poem I had a little bit of trouble feeling alot of emotion. It was there, although I do think that it could be more revealing. The words you placed within this piece, some were simple and effective. Others a little more complex and it's enjoyable to see people expanding their vocabulary. The only thing that I didn't enjoy was the flow. I had to read this piece several times in order to understand the meaning as the flow kept knocking me off track. I feel as though you focused more on the wording then the flow and emotion, not that it's a bad thing you just need to focus on all aspects. An example:

"still sings me to sleep at night."

I feel as though the flow was off here simply because you added "at night" to the end. It seemed to drag the line out. but then again that's just my personal opinion.

Overall I feel like it was an interesting piece. Good, just not great. Well done none the less. -Mel

I am very impressed by you word choice rhyme, and depth overall an excellent poem

I like the flow and it had a very poetic feel.
It did'nt make much sense to me which just makes it beautiful art. Nice work.

Good write... poetic indeed. Few unusual words... that you may chose intentionally to give the poem a little punch... overall done well... nice!

"I try so hard not to cadge,
fight so hard to rid of you."
`I'll be honest, I didnt like how close together the word hard was used. Twice in a matter of the first two sentences, didnt flow well with me. Sorry. I found it interesting that you didn't say.. "get rid of you" not many people say rid of you.. I know that its proper to use it that way, but I just found that to be interesting and something I wanted to point out to you.

"Subfusc ways turn to black,"
`Loved your word choice.. subfusc.. made me go WOW!

"Yet, our City of colour
still sings me to sleep."
`This was sooo beautiful, I adored your usage of the word sings. :]

Anyways, I thought this poem was short yet it said alot. The one thing I noticed was like two lines flowed very nicely and fit well together, the rhyme was great.. but I didnt see any other rhyming in the rest of the poem? Not sure what could fix that.. maybe make the whole poem rhyme.. afterall its a short poem. It'd be a easy task. Just a suggestion.

5/5.

I didn't understand any of this. It really had no meaning to me, maybe to you. I didn't get what you meant nor what you wanted to get out.

3/5

I didn't understand any of this. It really had no meaning to me, maybe to you. I didn't get what you meant nor what you wanted to get out.

3/5