I remember ; Daddy .

When you look at me .
what exactly do you see?
do you see my innocence?
or do you see me as just 16?

can you really see me?
can you see what I don't show?
do you realize how blinded you are?
how could you live with someone you don't know?

I remember when my best friend was a blade .
I remember when tears was all I knew .
I still have the scars to prove it .
but where were you?

I remember when I became so angry .
I remember when I had to learn everything on my own .
I remember when I needed you .
but I was left alone .

I remember when he use to touch me .
I remember looking at you with help in my eyes .
I remember when I was fighting for my dignity .
at night could you ever hear my cries?

I remember that one time I tried to turn to you .
I remember arguing with a best friend .
I cried, you laughed in my face .
showed no sympathy . my pain you didn't mend .

I remember when I wished I was dead .
it was the easy way out .
I wanted to die out all my pain .
but was it me you really cared about?

I don't need you physically .
I need you mentally and emotionally .

I can't turn to you .
I delt with too much on my own .
why try to be involved now?
even if you tried ; you still wouldn't know how .

I remember sitting in the salon .
inviting you to come see me in the sweet 15 .
I wanted to experience it with you .
but your face I never seen .

I remember the first time you seen me cry .
my heart was completely broken .
you kept asking me what was wrong .
but to you I just couldn't be open .

I remember that's when I realized .
I couldn't express how I was feeling .
but why does it take obvious tears .
for you to start seeing .

your suppose to know me best .
your suppose to see through my silent pain .
that's when I learned .
how to play the pretend game .