Personal

Did i ever mean that much to you? Fear not my darling, the truth wont kill me no matter how bad.
you've put my heart through enough hell i believe i
can take more. just a little bit more.
I've forgotten how it felt to have your hand brush against mine while we walked, closely side by side.
i have forgotten how your voice sounded while you defended yourself. the memory of your smile is beginning to fade.
but i lay in my bed and i shamefully admit to myself that the things i can forget truly mean nothing,
it's the things that i cant forget that will haunt me in my dark nights.
i could never forget your laugh. or how your face lit up when you said something funny.
i could never forget the smell of your hair. i could never forget your face.
i see it in the clouds. i feel you every where i turn.
you are all over the place.
you could never admit to being wrong.
so thats why we stand here in this awkward silent moment.
and as each second passes you don't even make a sound.
you just keep staring at me, and thats what weighs my feet to the ground.
those blue eyes, and that bright smile.
God, they break my heart every time i see them.
I've been afraid to face you.
I've feared your reaction. or what you might say.
so I'll admit I've been avoiding you.
i used to run all over the place, just to have one glimpse of your face.
but lately, every time i watch you walk.
tears jerk at my heart.
i cant fight the caring that i hold for you.
but i dare not call it love. for it isn't that intense burning feeling you're supposed to get when your hand finds mine.
i don't get butterflies when you say my name.
but there is something completely addicting about you.
something i cant let go of.
but what I'm afraid of is, that you've already let go of me.