Comments : For she prevails

  • 11 years ago

    by Nee

    Saifoo !!
    Now it deserves an absolute 5 ^^
    Loved the ending
    and btw salvation is one of my fave words !

    Write on

  • 11 years ago

    by Cara

    A very good write. The flow and rhythm were pretty good and overall, it was great. A few gramatical things, like capital letters and such, so maybe just check them out a little bit, but apart from that it was a fantastic poem.
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Fire Catches

    Great write!
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by mostafa

    This one played some very familiar chords here ..just absolutely beautiful feelings bro :)
    u should write more and post more ..i'll be looking forward to that ;)

  • 11 years ago

    by BrittBaby aka wonderwoman

    Very nice use of words
    i liked it very much
    xox

  • 11 years ago

    by just ashley

    So greatly written. your a great writer. keep up the good work. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I loved this piece, written well. Here are some thoughts on certain parts:

    "It blew so hard , the wind
    and in my ear it whispered her name
    her trembling voice, i heard
    Trapped within the drops of rain"

    First line: Delete the space between "hard" and ",".

    Same with line three.

    Capitalize all of the "i"s in your poem, just correct grammar.

    "She of my thoughts, possesed
    and In my dreams, she always came
    will my grief soon be over ?
    or forever it shall remain ?"

    Delete the spaces in the last two lines.

    Fourth line: It would sound better if re-worded to "or forever shall it remain?".

    *Also, sometimes you had the first letter of each beginning word in a line capitalized, others not, the form would look better if you did capitalize all of the first letters of the first words in lines.*

    "the memories defiled
    by the tears wasted in vain
    her absence in my life
    drains my sanity, Drives me insane
    her everlasting smile
    revels forever in my brain

    she ..
    holds the key
    to my salvation
    of the agony"

    Excellent stanza! Very captivating and held my attention! 4/5 from me, take care...

  • 11 years ago

    by Heba

    OMG.What a wonderful piece.It was so touching and emotions were so true.I really felt them.

    Wonderful..I am so speechless.

    Excellent.5\5...

  • 11 years ago

    by DeepSoul

    I feel like you read my mind. Well, except for in my case it'd be a "he" lol but i was really good. Please write more. :)