Comments : Your Stories, My Alibis

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    A very different and creative piece, with such clear descriptions leaving me breathless. You use so much imagery that it floods the reader with vivid visuals and makes the poem come alive. Excellent work! 5/5 from me, take care. God Bless!

  • 11 years ago

    by The Prince

    Your word choice was striking and original, almost a fortress of lexis! Haha. I found that the poem was successful in it's length, any longer and it would maybe, be incomprehendable. Words like dynamite is a strong simile, the fragility and sheer force of dynamite could be in relation to how the words of another can have an explosive impact upon others. Leading on to the 'static, blank faces', as if they're gobsmacked or something.

    Is this about the aftermath of a relationship, the 'words' of another destroying the relationship with sheer brutality? The ending reinforced the idea of dynamite being unpredictable and extremely fragile. You kept that image in throughout the poem, well done.

    The way you described everything here left me in awe, I love reading your poetry just to get something out of it. It's gotten to the stage when I don't care if I'm right, I'm just glad to pull something out of the beautiful words you use.

    Brilliant, as always.

  • 11 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Again, where to start on this piece. I adored it. I can tell you thank much. I find your short poems to be remarkable as you don't need alot of lines to get your point across to the audience, you do this simply with the emotion you etched into the words and this definitly created that within my heart. I believe if you made this piece any longer it just wouldn't have the same feeling as it does, the ending created some kind of line which hooked all of the lines together although it had quite huge impact on me.

    I loved the use of dynamite in the first line, it's a common word amongst people but rarely do I see it within poetry, and yes your words are definitly made out of dynamite. They create an explosive feeling over the readers throughts. I feel as though this poem somehow relates to a broken relationship. Deciete maybe even?. You talk about the beginning of a fairytale and yet somehow the fairytale seems to of been turned bad by someone wickid in your opinion, as they are portrayed with ice lips. You mention the word lust so that it also why I believe this poem touches on the topic of betrayal.

    Honestly, Nyell. I cannot pick a favorite part of this poem as all the lines really connect together to create this piece. Pulling one out and saying it's my favorite may collapse this beautiful piece in my opinion. Overall I definitly loved this one and i'm glad i've headed over to your page today as i've missed your amazing works of art.


  • 11 years ago

    by Chelsey

    This poem is really good. I never have the ability to write a poem of this type. One that you have to actually think about to understand, mine are always so straight to the point.
    for the simple fact that you can do that, i already envy you're poetic skill.

    good job, i definitely look forward to reading more(:

  • 11 years ago

    by Nee

    I liked the ending line a lot..
    the metaphor there was very good.
    I don't know but reading this poem made me feel as if there's a half rhyme in felt somehow least to me.
    your couplet was very well written.
    I'm sorry I suck at giving comments lately..but I do like this piece a lot =))

    Write on

  • 11 years ago

    by Aureus Argentum

    Wow... your poems always tend to be dark and powerful, which just goes to show how good of a poet you really are. Not many of us can achieve that trait and stick with it, because it sort of... goes away. And through time, you try to gain it back, but you're just... light-hearted to that point where you can't.
    I really loved this poem. You did an astounding job with it, and the imagery was fascinating, really. Quite vivid. 5/5