Comments : To my mother;

  • 15 years ago

    by TeenXLoveXTragedy

    Awesome! It sounds like you really have a lot of stuff bottled up that you're trying to tell your mom. Dont give up though..never let anything get the best of you..Great job, 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    But I have this thing that I blame other people
    From this person I've become.
    ^^ from in this stanza should be for , it doesn't make sense the way you have it .

    But Mom this girl that you call your daughter
    Isn't the happiest little girl.
    ^^ take out the first girl .. and replace it with something else .

    Your rhyme scheme is really good , and the flow only goes off a couple times .. Really well done . I enjoyed how you put the last couple lines in brackets .. It's cute . 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I feel it is well written on a personal level and easy to understand

  • 15 years ago

    by Krathia

    Well written. There's a few minor flaws about rhythm here and there, but the words came from the heart and that's all that matters. I think this is the kind of stuff everyone can relate to; Lord knows I can. I think everyone needs at least one person they can depend on without fail, but sadly that person is also the person you most often dump all your hurts on. You portrayed this very well.

    Technically speaking, my favorate part of the poem is definitely the last two lines in parentheses. It was a charming bit of unexpectancy (is that a word?). Also, your words are simple and that fact makes thisa nice poem to read when the brain isn't feeling very apt to decipher cryptic stuff. Good work.

  • 15 years ago

    by My Name Is Mouse

    Aww, very sad, this poem relates to many people. hold on and be strong even if its hard.
    your not alone. great poem ox goodluck