The Curse of Tides

I’m so tired of emotions, and not knowing what to feel,
Longing for a love, I’m not sure was ever real.
Just so confused about what should be done,
I forget to live my life, forgotten I’m “still young.”
We’re not together anymore, this I should know,
I’m the one who broke it off saying I had to go…
But for some reason I keep falling into a trap,
Going in circles, like some silly love-struck sap.
I go back into his arms, back into his bed,
Listening to my heart, not the warnings in my head.
I still put myself through it time and time again,
Saying, “Now it will be over, it’s time for it to end”
Then it’s back to the start and he’s lured me in once more,
Residing back and forth like the tides upon the shore.
He doesn’t see my hurt, because to men it’s only fun.
They don’t hold onto emotions, when the game’s all said and done
I envy their insensitivity, they can push it all aside,
But I suffer from a curse, of the endless changing tides
I wish I could end this saying “To myself I must be true”
But if you were in my shoes…would you know what to do?

*The title might not make sense unless you've been in my situation...you're feelings constantly change and you know what should be done, but its hard to get the balls to do it...