Lonely Birthday

Crying the lonely tears
Of an evening
In utter loneliness

Just 40 more minutes
And i would be 13
But i ask in plea
Just take a couple years away from me

Put me back to when i was 4
Starting to read and write
Life was pure delight
Or take me to when i was 7
My little sister was born

Or even to when i was 10
I was independent already
But i could still make sandcastles at the beach
Its not that I'm getting older
That really hurts
Its that there's no one by my side
To hold my head up high

In sitting alone
With a tear strolling down my face
And i think to myself
Why me?
There's no one to talk to
And no one to cry to
Why one of the days i should be happiest
My birthday

I sit in despair
Waiting for someone to rescue me
From all this pain i hide beneath
But no more can i pretend
That life isn't hurting me
No one to trust
And I'm never good enough

Not for my family
Or friends
Family living in another country
And friends drifting farther apart
And just slipping
Off my road of life

When i was a kid i never had to worry bout anything
Just a few scratches here or there
But now there's scars of my heart
Those of which i cannot heal
To many times have i breathed without a reason
To many times have i judged life

But one to many times
Have i cried
I don't know what to do
And there's no one to turn to
I canceled my party
For i couldn't handle it

But no I'm gonna sit alone on my birthday
All quiet as can be
With not a soul to help me
SO here comes my big 1-3
And i sit in question
With just I, and me