I hate my life

I hate my life and everything in it
no one cares about me or how i feel
nothing in my life but pain has been real
i guess to the world I'm just a piece of sh**
everyone i care about is leaving me behind
I'm left all alone like in a cave with out a guide
I'm so scared and there's no where to go no where to hide
the knife sliding across my leg is the only thing thats been kind
i don't know what more i should do
Ive tried to please every one with no mistakes
but one person happy causes another person heart break
giving up sounds best but i don't want to
yea sure some one will come to me every now and then
but only to use me and make me feel worse
is this some kind of punishment some kind of curse
*you* hold the power, please make it all end
and if you wont then i guess i will
i don't even think you all would care
would you even know i wasn't there
i pick up the knife but then pause its not yet my time to kill
you all still say you love me and you'll be true
but when i need you the most not one of you i can find
you guys are off but I'm still here were you left me..way behind
well I'm getting tired of trying to please all of you
i think its time so i guess i will
across my leg 1 2 3 times and more goes the knife
and just so you all know I'm not going to take my life
I'm just leaving visible marks of the pain i tried to kill
now when you come back to my to hurt me more
you'll see all the scars from all the pain i held
how do you like the new hand you've been dealt
hows the blood look filled with pain, love, hatred, and confusion all coming from deep inside my core
its not pretty i know thats something its not at all
and i hope that now you will stand in tears
from seeing my pain and everything and i hope loosing me becomes your biggest fear
whats the matter not so tall i guess not you should feel small